


Fractured Psyche

by BlueDew



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Aww, Control Issues, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy Ending, Gen, Having A Bad Time, Heartbreaking, Hurt/Comfort, Lack of Sleep, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Sort of Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-23
Updated: 2015-11-24
Packaged: 2018-04-27 16:48:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5056252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueDew/pseuds/BlueDew
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's been a while since monsters have been freed from the Underground. But Sans is still facing recurring timelines in his dreams at night, and the fear of another reset is eating at him to the point where he's losing the firm grip of control he's always had on everything... even himself. Which will get to him first: his family, or his insanity?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A Loud Crack

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so far into the Undertale fandom that I just HAVE to write something about it  
> (and of course, I had to jump on the Angsty-Sans bandwagon) I've never actually written a fanfic by myself before. I've roleplayed a bit though, so hopefully this is good. Let me know what you think because like I said, I was kinda writing this as I went along. 
> 
> Side Note: I've been seeing a couple bits of fanart circulating around Tumblr, and honestly every time I see a picture based off of this fic I squeal for like ten minutes straight. So please, PLEASE feel free to make fanart of this. In fact link it to me! My tumblr is bluedew12 and I'd be ELATED to see people inspired by my work :D! Thanks so much for all the support, guys. It means a lot!

       “…heya.” 

       It was _them_ again. The kid, who’d always keep coming here with that stoic look on their face while he himself retained his smile. He refused to give them the satisfaction of anything less than the lazy grin that was always plastered on his face. He knew they wanted to see him break. They wanted to see him cry, to beg for mercy. But he wasn’t ever going to let them have that joy, no matter how many times they killed him. He’d still keep smiling until the last breath he took.

       “…that expression that you’re wearing…”

        The pinpricks of lights in his eye sockets, however, betrayed the rest of his mask. They were like a murky cloud pooled with several different emotions; an unspeakable hatred boiled within him whenever he saw the little demon in front of him, but at the same time, he had such a hard time hiding his dread. He always did when it came to that child. Every time he stood in this corridor, the echoes of nearing footsteps would send a chill up his spine. 

       “you’re really kind of a freak, huh?”

       He was tired. Over every single emotion that rushed through him at this very moment, exhaustion was the one that showed the most. Doing this again and again, this same exact fight over and over… it put such a strain on him. He couldn’t give in. He couldn’t let this kid break him, but he sure as hell needed a break right now.

       The area around them turned black, and Sans put his hands behind his back, like always. His sockets closed, and he took in a deep breath through the hole where a nose would normally be. He was just about to let it out in the form of his famous lines, but before he could even get a word out he suddenly felt the pain in his chest. Instead, his breath came out as a choked gasp as he sunk to the floor, glancing down as he noticed the large, clean tear on his jacket and shirt from the child’s knife. 

       They had literally sliced apart his bones. Honestly, he couldn’t tell what the red liquid flowing out was; he always did practical jokes with Papyrus where he would smash packets of ketchup against him and pretend he was hurt, but this felt different. Maybe the blood vessels within his bone bursted, or maybe he didn’t want to leave the ketchup packets in his pocket unused; he truly didn’t know what it was anymore. You never really bother to pay attention to details like that when you’re lying on the ground, dying anyways. 

       It was at this point that he would either find the strength to get up and walk past the kid before giving in to death, or the child would take on that role and leave him there to disintegrate. Lately it had been the latter, with Sans sitting with red stains on his jacket as the kid walked off with their sinister smile being the only emotion he’d see on their face. But this time was different. For what reason, Sans didn’t know, but the kid just stood there, one hand clutching the bloody knife tightly while the other rested behind their back. They stared at him, as if observantly waiting, wanting to _watch_ him die. Although Sans still found the strength to hold his fake smile, the lights in his eyes were barely showing, leaving empty sockets of both hatred and grief. 

       “Welp,” the child sighed, causing Sans to open an eye, not even realizing he had closed them until now. “I’m going to Grillby’s.” They copied his lines, smiling faintly as they turned around, as if to head back to the door they had come in from. What made Sans freeze, however, was what he saw behind the freak’s back as they turned. His last breath came out in a choked cry as his smile died upon the sight of his brother’s head. 

       “Papyrus, do you want anything?”

 

* * *

 

       Sans awoke in a jolt, his left eye combusting in blue flames as he shot up like a rocket, hearing a loud crack ring in his ears. His breath was erratic and his skull was glistening wet with sweat as he looked around, completely panicked. He noticed he was in his bedroom, with every bit of furniture and garbage encased in a blue glow and flying around his room. Such a horrid nightmare must have caused him to use his magic while asleep. By the time he realized this, however, everything was released from the blue energy and came crashing down onto the floor. He cringed at the noise that made the house rumble, not because it startled him, but he knew Papyrus had to have heard it.

       As if on cue, Sans heard loud footsteps coming from down the hall outside his door, and he quickly covered his left eye socket to hide the blue flame. He didn’t have time to think, let alone set everything back where it belonged or even teleport by the time his bedroom door slammed open. His brother rushed inside and to the bed without a second thought, and by the look on his face he was freaking out. Understandable, considering it felt and sounded like the house had collapsed on itself. 

       “SANS!! Oh, thank goodness you are alright! What happened?! Why is your room even messier than usual?!”

       It took Sans a lot longer than usual to come up with a response, and it wasn’t even a clever one. “ah-uh… i dunno. i’m just as confused as you… maybe someone came in and—“

       “IMPOSSIBLE!!” Papyrus cut him off, though it was to be expected. "I have set too many puzzles around our house! There is no way anyone could avoid all of them  _and_  get in here without notice! I mean, sure, they could easily sneak in here while _you're_ asleep, but there isn't any possible way they could have gotten past the **Great** Papyrus!"

       “ah… yeah, right. silly me for thinking that.” Sans was starting to calm down, relieved to see his brother alive and well. A deep sigh escaped him but it got jerked back when Papyrus spoke again.

       “Sans. Why are you holding your hand over your face? Are you hurt?!” 

       Papyrus instantly went to reach out and remove Sans’s hand, but his brother jerked back a bit and the eye that Papyrus could see glanced off to the side. He had to think of something to say, because he knew that Papyrus knew that he normally didn’t act like this. 

       “it’s nothing. just got something caught in my socket after being woken up like that…” he paused for a brief moment, trying to say something normal that would appease his brother. “ _eye_ am fine, bro. no need to worry. show a little bit of _optic_ -mism.” 

       “SANS!!” Papyrus groaned at the puns, but after slapping his hand against his own forehead he stood up straight and nodded, assured that his brother was indeed fine. “Very well. I will report back to my room and see with you in the morning, and I expect this room to be back to normal the next time I come in here!” He marched out of the room, sharing one last glance with his brother before closing the door. 

       Sans relaxed a bit upon hearing the muffled footsteps get softer and farther from his room, and he slowly pulled his hand away from his eye and opened it back up. The flame was gone. The dots of his eyes were back to normal, and the small skeleton visibly sunk into his bed, trying to stop the chills from shaking his bones. He ran the back of his hand across his forehead, trying to rid it of the perspiration, but he stopped midway when he felt a sharp, but small rift along his left temple.  

       He could still hear the sound of the harsh crack echoing in his head. 

 


	2. Heavy-Eyed

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans knows that his nightmares aren't just dreams like most would assume, but now he's starting to struggle a bit on what's actually in front of him.

       After several minutes of focusing to heal the crack in his skull with his magic, Sans just remained leaning against the counter while staring at his reflection. He was worn out from a restless night, and his tired eyes clearly showed it. He could never fathom how Papyrus managed to stay up several nights at a time, but he never bothered to question it either. After all, he himself slept enough for the both of them.

       While washing his face to rid it of the cold sweat, Sans heard a loud knock on the door, as well as a rough fiddling with the doorknob before the person on the other side realized it was locked. He raised a nonexistent brow. It had to have been Undyne.

       “HEY! Short-stuff," Her voice confirmed his suspicions. "The kid's really gotta take a piss! How much longer you gonna hog the damn bathroom?!”

       “calm down, i’m almost done. jeez, _urine_ -patient, undyne.” Sans couldn’t help but grin at the sigh he got in response before he stepped to the door and unlocked it. He opened it up. “alright, kiddo, room’s all you—“

       The flame almost reignited in his left socket when he thought he caught a red glint in the child’s eyes. Upon a double-take, though, he saw Frisk’s normal, yet distressed face as they bounced in front of him. Their hands were between their legs as they danced, trying to contain themselves.

       He was just seeing things.

       “a-ah… go on, buddy, don’t let me hold ya back.” he stammered, stepping aside so the kid could rush in. He closed the door behind him and rubbed his head in an uneasy confusion while walking down the hall. He tried to shake off what he thought he'd seen. He had to get it together.

       He had forgotten that today was the day Papyrus planned a little get-together with their friends, so after Undyne's reminder Sans grabbed his favorite blue jacket out of his room on the way downstairs.

       "Greetings, Sans! You are just in time for some of my delicious breakfast pasta!” Papyrus chimed loudly upon seeing his brother on the foot of the staircase. As the smaller skeleton slipped his arms into his jacket, he looked over and saw Alphys and Toriel sitting at the table with plates of food in front of them. The large, goat-like woman smiled upon seeing one of her best friends up and about, and she gestured to one of the empty chairs next to her.

       “Why don’t you have a seat? There’s plenty of room.” She offered. Sans couldn’t resist the opportunity.

       “i dunno, tori. i’m more of a _stand-up_ comedian, to be honest.” He expected Papyrus to groan in response as he always did, and it never failed to make him grin, but his amused smile was more directed towards Toriel’s snorting. Her laugh would have been deemed unattractive by most, but to him it was one of the most relaxing sounds he ever heard. Then again, there was something about hearing someone laugh at such a terrible joke, and it calmed him down a bit.

       He finally took up her offer and sat back against the chair beside her, glancing down at the plate of spaghetti his brother set in front of him but not touching it just yet. Despite being able to crack jokes without a second thought like usual, he was still pretty out of it this morning and he was trying to get back into the swing of things. It didn’t take long for him to be noticed once everyone sat down and started to eat.

       “Sans, are you alright?” Papyrus looked up from his plate, which was already halfway cleaned of food, to observe his brother’s aloofness. Sans looked up, only just realizing how much time had passed. He did a quick look around to find everyone looking at him the moment he was addressed. “You have not touched your pasta."

       “yeah, i’m alright.” he collected himself rather quickly. “just daydreaming.”

       “Why would you dream in the daytime? That's for when you sleep!" Papyrus paused, eyes lighting up as if he just solved a puzzle. “Ah, I see. You could not sleep last night because of the mysterious invasion!”

       "Wait, h-huh?!” Alphys shot up in her chair, a nervous look on her face. “Invasion? Someone invaded your house?!” she looked around at everybody as if confirming what she heard was right, before Undyne pushed her back into her seat.

       “Well, you ain’t gotta worry about that anymore! Next time that happens, just yell and I’ll be sure to kick whoever’s butt dares to sneak in here!” She held a threatening fist up into the air.

       Sans still held the grin on his face while shaking his head. “it’s all cool, guys. it was just a crash in my room. it’s all cleaned up and nothing looks out of place.” He stilled briefly when he felt a warm, reassuring hand on his shoulder bone. He glanced up at Toriel.

       “Are you sure you’re alright, then? You do look pretty heavy-eyed.”

       “that’s unusual, considering i don’t have eyes.” Sans joked, but although Toriel smiled at the attempt she didn’t laugh this time. Strangely, no one reacted. Sans took another look at everyone and his smile shrank a bit at the concerned looks he was receiving. Even Frisk was frowning a bit. “i’m okay, guys. not like i do much throughout my day anyways. i’ll be sure to get some sleep tonight.”

       “Well, then at least you'll be able to help me clean up after our meal!” Papyrus smiled happily at that, and Sans’s shoulders twitched as he let out a single chuckle, finally beginning to eat the noodles in front of him. The taste of Papyrus’s spaghetti had gradually gotten better since they moved to the surface, and this batch was no exception. It helped him relax so he could savor the moment. That is, until Toriel commented on his appearance once more, and Sans has to push himself and uneasily force a smile on his face as she playfully nagged him.

       “Sans, dear, you really should clean up after yourself. Just look at that ketchup stain on your shirt.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I know, this is a fairly short chapter and not nearly as intense as the first. But I'm trying to introduce some other characters and keep a bit of gradual pace going. I love Angsty-Sans, but I don't wanna just make him completely panicked and insane all the time like a lot of people wanna see (cuz we're all sinful for wanting to see him suffer). It's out of character. 
> 
> Plus, I don't have a lot of time to write at the moment. Got a lot of other work to catch up on, so this is all I got so far. Regardless, I still hope you enjoy!! ^^;


	3. Echoing Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's gotten to the point where Sans can't get any rest at night.  
> Toriel's concern is plain as day, and unfortunately, so is Sans's weariness.

       The small skeleton jumped a bit on the outdoor step, not having realized he was dozing off until a small nudge next to him prodded him awake. Sans looked up at the source of said nudging and noticed the concerned look on Toriel’s face, but he just glanced off to the side and watched his sigh puff out into the cold air. He was staring down at the wood of the porch as if it was the most fascinating thing, but really he was just wanting to look at anything but her and he hoped she would do the same with him. He didn’t like being observed so closely.

       This had been going on far more than Sans had liked. He wasn’t himself — that much was obvious to anyone who saw him — but it didn't stop him from trying to play it off whenever he was questioned about it. Papyrus was smothering him with worry as well, but after Sans repeated to him a countless amount of times that he was indeed fine, his brother eventually left him alone for now so as to make sure the others were at least having fun. Toriel, on the other hand, was persistent in finding out what had gotten into her friend. Sans was obviously just as stubborn, if not more so, and he wasn’t going to give in, but she still didn’t stop trying. 

       “Sans… if you’re not going to tell me what’s wrong, then at least go back inside and get some rest. Even just laying on the couch will keep us from worrying so much about you.”

       “i’m fine.” The white dots in his sockets were strained as he watched his brother dash around in the falling snow, carrying Frisk on his shoulders while collecting snow to make an exaggerated sculpture of himself.

       “Sans, you’re exhausted. This is the third time you’ve nearly passed out on us. You’re starting to scare me…”

       “jeez, tori. you sound like a broken record. really, don't you get it by now? _your words just go right through me_.”

       For once, Toriel didn’t smile at the joke. In fact, it had the opposite effect on her. The woman’s frown deepened. “That joke is too literal right now to be of any humor to me." she scolded, almost in a motherly tone. The skeleton's lazy grin faded into what they've known to be his neutral expression (even though most would still see it as a smile), and Toriel finally looked off towards where their friends were playing. "Sans." 

       "hmm?"

       “This change of yours… it wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with us leaving the Underground, would it?” 

       The lights in Sans’s eyes dulled, and the hands in his pockets seemed to ball up a little. He was glad the fabric was thick enough to hide that gesture. “no, no. it’s nothing like that.” 

       “Are you homesick?” Toriel asked, noting his hesitant answer and his change in posture upon her asking such a question. "If that is the case, then… maybe we could all take a little trip back and visit—“

       “Never.” Sans’s answer was anything but hesitant this time. He turned away fully to hide the fact the lights in his eyes completely faded at such a thought. Even his voice had shifted, and not a single puff of air could been seen with his breath. Although Toriel knew something was up, she didn’t expect such a reaction from him. 

       He could sense her surprise and he could already picture the anxious look on her face, so he took a moment to just clear his head as best he could. He risked a quick glance to the others, wanting to make sure his brother didn’t notice him. Papyrus seemed too busy entertaining Frisk with the whole royal guard schtick that he, for some reason, kept even though the king’s men had been disbanded since their freedom. Sans sighed nonetheless and turned back to Toriel, his signature smile plastered on. 

       “why go back to a place like that? we got everything we want up here… besides, that damn flower's still lurking around in there somewhere. i don’t think i’d wanna risk running into him.”

       “…You.. have a point.” Toriel said uneasily, obviously not convinced by the mask her best friend was wearing. But she _did_ fall silent, realizing she wasn’t going to get far with him without him pushing her away. “Well,” she slowly got to her feet. “You have my phone number. If you ever change your mind and need someone to talk to…” she paused. “… or crack jokes with.” Sans lifted his head just a bit at that. “Then text me. Or you can call me and… it’ll be just like the door.” she smiled to try and reassure him, and finally to an avail. Sans’s smile became just a bit more genuine.

       “i might take you up on that offer later.” 

 

* * *

_Get it together, Sans. You’re faltering._  
_What happened to that smile you could always keep on your face?_  
_Even as you died?_  
_Even as you were killed over and over again?_  
_Even as you saw your brother, knowing he would be murdered, you still smiled._

_…as if you didn’t have a care in the world._

He heard the echoing steps down the corridor. 

_Through everything you’ve suffered…_

He looked up at the child before him, the golden lights casting a sinister shadow over them.

_...you still kept smiling._

His eyes blackened, and his grin twitched in agonizing pain he refused to let show any further.

_So why now?_

He killed them, again and again. 

_Why is it now…_

They walked down the corridor, again and again.

_…when everything is over…_

He lost.  
Again.  
And again.

_…that you finally crack?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, I didn't add a new chapter last night because it was a busy day ^^; 
> 
> But after listening to some music I was able to crank out another chapter, and... well, since I'm a Soriel shipper, I kinda wanted to incorporate some of their close relationship into this. Platonically, of course!


	4. Stagnant Air

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans is tormented by Frisk's presence. One mistake finally causes him to realize how far he's gone. 
> 
> He goes to seek the only other person he knows can help him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SOMEONE DREW A PIC OF THIS CHAPTER AND YOU SHOULD TOTALLY LOOK AT IT.  
> http://bluedew12.tumblr.com/post/132093513559/sparkle-queen-itnit-fanarrt-of-a-fanfiction-of

*i’m reading a book about anti-gravity. it’s impossible to put down.*  
*LOL. Did you get that book from the library? I heard that building has the most stories!*  
*heh, yeah. it’s a good read, i recommend you check it out.*  
*You’re hilarious.*  
*you too…-riel.*  
*That one was a bit of a stretch. You think it’s time we call it a night?*  
*guess so. i’ll talk to you later, ok?*  
*Alright, Sans! You take care of yourself Get some sleep tonight!*

       Sans didn’t bother texting back. There was no way he was going to sleep tonight.

       Toriel had dropped Frisk off to sleep over at their place while she went out of town with Asgore for some political issues regarding monsters (he didn’t really bother asking for details). Now that the kid was here, he was gonna have to keep an eye socket on them… and that hurt him to think about. This was Frisk. This was the kid that laughed at almost all his jokes. The same kid who treated him to dinner and gave him a laugh as he stacked hot dogs on their head.

_The same kid who killed him and everyone he loved._

       No, that wasn’t true. He knew that full and well. The person who made him suffer through all those timelines wasn’t Frisk. But… even still, with the nightmares he’s been having, it was hard to tell what was up that child’s sleeve.

       The skeleton rested his head against the bony palms of his hands, leaning forward against the worn mattress that he never seemed to get sleep on anymore. He had wanted a break. He so badly wanted a break, and he thought that by being free he had finally gotten what he’d suffered so much for. So why was he still being haunted by—

       Just then, the door creaked open. Sans didn’t even realize it wasn’t locked, but he didn’t flinch at the sound. He just kept his gaze fixated on the floor, his neutral smile shrinking when he heard the small footsteps approach him. After a quick tug on his sleeve, Sans looked up to meet Frisk’s face.

       “sup, kiddo?” he said nonchalantly, only now noticing how tense he was. He relaxed his bones and patted the spot next to him, giving Frisk permission to climb up next to him. “shouldn’t you be in bed by now?”

       As soon as Frisk got comfortable, they looked up at him and shook their head with a small hum. “M-mm.”

       “i think you’re lyin’ to me, bucko. it’s pretty late…” Sans looked the kid over curiously. “besides, if my bro catches you out and about, he’s gonna end up giving you so many puzzles you’ll end up wanting to go to bed.”

       Frisk’s expression changed to that of a mild fear, which made Sans chuckle. Regardless of his nightmares, the thought of the good times Frisk gave him eased him a little. “don’t worry, kid. just go on and head back to bed, alright? you need your sleep.”

       The child frowned a bit at that and they shook their head once more. Sans raised a nonexistent brow at this, eyeing the look Frisk was giving him. “what?” he questioned, and then he felt the small shove the kid was giving him. Sans didn’t budge at all, but Frisk was determined to push him down. “the heck are you tryna do, bud?”

       Frisk sighed when they realized they was getting nowhere with forcing the skeleton down, so they just stood up on the mattress, pointing to Sans, and then at the pillow.

       “you… want _me_ to sleep?”

       Frisk nodded.

       “ah, jeez. not you too.” Sans rubbed the left side of his forehead, clearly vexed when he realized where the kid was going with this. “i told everyone this and i’m gonna tell you too, as many times as it takes for you to believe me. i am fine. nothin’ to worry about.”

       Frisk wasn’t convinced in the slightest, and their dissatisfied expression quickly unnerved Sans. Out of all people he’d ever met, this kid was the most obstinate. He’d never seen them give up. He’d never seen them back down from their goal. And the fact their goal right now was to find out just what was bugging Sans… it really struck a nerve.

       “kid… why are you doing this?”

       The expression morphed into confusion. They didn’t understand the question.

       “you… well, everyone, but especially you… you keep looking at me like _i’m_ the one with a problem.”

       Sans looked away at Frisk’s narrow eyes, the lights in his own gradually dimming as he spoke.

       “they’re all able to keep smiling and laughing, and it makes me jealous how genuine it is. i’m jealous of their ignorance. they don’t know what all happened before we came here. but i do. and so do you.”

       Frisk frowned.

       “you keep smiling with them even though you know everything... that's the trick, huh? you’re just leading us on, aren’t you? one of these days… maybe not today or tomorrow, or even years from now… but one of these days, you’re going to take it all away. isn’t that right?”

       The dots in Sans’s eyes became nonexistent as he stared at the child, whom was shaking their head back and forth in complete denial.

       “i know you mean well, frisk. i know you would never do such a thing… but you’re not the one i’m concerned about.” The blue flame ignited in Sans’s left eye, and the grin on his face returned, but it was crooked. Frisk gasped upon realizing what was happening, and they quickly shifted to make a dash for the door. Before the first step could even be taken, Frisk felt their now-blue soul being lifted up and towards the ceiling. They looked at the shadowy figure and felt chilled to the bone upon catching the raw, unmasked expression of Sans’s pain.

       “It’s the **player** that scares me!”

       Sans thrust his hand down towards the ground, the blue energy following his fingertips with ease. A yelp was heard as Frisk was first thrown against the floor, but it didn’t stop there. Sans tossed the child around every side of the room, the crashes drowning out their screams.

       “Why don’t you just do it already,” Sans growled, tears welling up in his eyes as the child frantically struggled. “Why are you so persistent on tormenting me?! If you’re gonna reset, just DO it! Reset! RESET!!”

       He threw Frisk on the ground one final time, watching as the child struggled to get up. Beads of sweat were rolling down his skull, and he was panting heavily. But after one final wheeze, Sans froze, realizing what he had just done.

       Time slowed down in his head. All he could do was watch, petrified, as Frisk used every ounce of energy just to get back on their feet. They were battered and bruised, with several small cuts on them from the debris scraping against their skin. But the child didn’t look at him any different. In fact, they smiled softly, as if in reassurance that everything was going to be okay… that it was indeed all over.

       “no… no no no, what did…” Sans’s hand went up to his head, feeling the several small cracks and rifts that had formed along his body from exerting so much power at once. He felt around the ridge of his eye socket, realizing the bottom of it was wet with tears that were so close to breaking free. He looked at Frisk, coming out of his spell. “kid… no, frisk, i… i’m so sorry, i…”

       “SANS!!!” The skeleton could hear the loud, panicked voice and the equally loud footsteps of his brother quickly closing in on his room. Sans quickly looked at the door and then back to the injured child, thoughts racing as he tried to figure out what to do.

       “…i’m so sorry, kid. i’m really sorry. i just… you're right. i know something’s wrong, and i’m gonna try and fix it. i’ll make this up to you. _ **i promise**_ ,” Sans rubbed his eyes to rid them of any hint of crying, and he took in a deep, shaky breath. “…b-but not now. right now, i…. i need to take a little trip, ok?”

       Papyrus slammed open the door with so much force that it nearly threatened to break off by the hinges, especially considering Sans already gave it a good beating. “SANS!! WHAT THE HECK WAS THAT?! I ought to…” His boisterous rant was cut off as he looked around the room, finding no sign of life except for the child that was struggling to stay on their feet.

       “HUMAN! What happened to you?! Where is Sans?!” The taller skeleton instantly rushed over, picking up said human with ease and cradling them carefully. “COME! You can tell me what happened while I tend to those battle wounds.”

       Frisk nodded softly at the suggestion, but their eyes were full of worry as they stared at the bedside where Sans was just a second ago…

 

* * *

 

       The area around him was dark. He could just barely tell where he was walking, but he made sure not to step on what he was looking for. He took in a breath of the stagnant air, giving an indescribable expression in response to it. It smelled a bit musky, yet… strangely nostalgic. He took little note of it and just kept walking, following the slivers of light that peeked out from above until he stood before the one spotlight… the place where the kid always fell to. He straightened up his posture and slipped his hands into the pockets of his jacket as he was noticed.

       He never thought he’d be here, not after all this time. This was most certainly not the first place he wanted to be right now, if not the last. But it was clear to him now that he needed help, and after that incident he felt too guilty asking Frisk for it right now. To his knowledge, no one else else knew what he knew.

           “…Of all the people I expected to come visit me…”

       No one else knew about the overlapping timelines

           “…I’m probably the most flattered being graced with _your_ presence.”

       No one else knew about SAVEs.  
       No one except…

           “Howdy!” The golden flower smiled cheerfully. “What can I do for ya, big guy?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ANOTHER CHAPTER YAASSS.
> 
> I'm so motivated by all the good comments, so I decided to write a few hours early while I had some time to kill. I now have a basis of how the rest of the story is going to turn out, so I'm finally building up to it. Expect more epicness next chapter!!


	5. Broken Skin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans confronts an old... acquaintance, and is told where his fears are sadly leading him.

       “cut the crap, kid.” Sans said simply as he stood over the golden flower, eyes narrowing at the little giggle he heard in response. He must have caught the sneaky pun.

       “Good one, Sans… but come on. Lighten up, I was only greeting you,” Flowey closed his eyes, his smile so ridiculously cheerful. It was obvious that it was fake, and he shadows casting over his face didn’t make it seem so friendly, either.“After all, it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you… or anyone, for that matter.” he sighed, grin finally fading into a neutral expression. “So, what’s up? You’re looking pretty banged up… in more ways than one.” The plant gestured to both the several cracks that decorated Sans’s face, as well as the odd expression that said face wore.

       The skeleton traced a finger over a crack, not wincing at the pain but not being able to hide the discomfort in his eyes, either. “i need you to get your little friend outta my head.”

       “Pardon?”

       “you know who i’m talking about.” 

       Flowey raised a brow in confusion. “I’m… sorry? I know who you’re talking about, but… what makes you think _I_ can do anything about it?” he gave a sort of puzzled laugh. “I never took you for an idiot, Sans. Are you really so out of it that you truly think there’s someone in your head?”

       The pinpricks of light in Sans’s sockets went out in an instant, giving him a more intimidating demeanor. “i don’t have time for your insults.”

       “Then why’d you come here? To share tea and butterscotch pie?” Flowey shook his head. “Man, you really are losing it. I can’t even follow your thought process... you have to get it together, Sans. You're faltering."

       The short skeleton felt a chill down his spine as he heard those very words.

       "What happened to that smile you could always keep on your face? Even as you died? Even as you were killed over and over again? Even as you saw your brother, knowing he would be murdered, you still smiled... as if you didn't have a care in the world."

       His fists balled up tightly in the pockets of his jacket. Had he been born with flesh, he would have had broken skin from how hard his fingertips were digging into his palms.

       "Through everything you've suffered, you still kept smiling. So why now?" Flowey thought aloud. "Why is it now, when everything is over, that you finally crack?"

       "SHUT UP!" Sans snapped, throwing his hand down and summoning several bones above the small flower They descended, crashing into the ground around him with brute force. Sans put a hand to his left eye as he felt it wavering, staring at Flowey whom was sitting on a clean patch of ground while the area directly around him was torn up from the attack.

       "A-alright, alright, buddy! Right now you're just about to prove my whole 'kill or be killed' ideal right. Let's... let's not go through with that," Flowey muttered as he looked at the circle of debris surrounding him, coming down from the surprise of not only the attack, but barely being spared. "S-so, lemme guess... now that you’re all on the surface and having a great time, you’re having trouble forgetting the bad times you faced along the way.” 

       Sans hung his head, his silence answering the question. His eyes returned to normal.

       “Once again, I dunno why you came to me. Just because I’m the only other person that knows what happened doesn’t mean I can be of any help to you. It’s not like I’m a psychologist or anything. Besides,” Flowey flashed a shit-eating grin. “You’re in no position to ask _me_ for anything.”

       Sans grit his teeth. “and _you’re_ in no position to even be alive right now,” he growled. “yet here we are.”

       “Touché,” Flowey shrugged, leaves raising in the place of shoulders. His expression was normal once more as he deeply thought over the situation. As he stood in silence, Sans took the opportunity and slowly sank into the bed of flowers, crossing his legs in a comfortable sitting position. He knew he was going to be here a while. 

       “Sorry, I’m still trying to address this all,” Flowey pondered. “This is very unlike you, Sans. You’re usually so calm and collected, even in a panicking moment. But lately, you’ve been so… short-tempered and jittery, and you’re acting as rash as your brother.” 

       “you got all that just from one look at me?”

       “Well, you’re surprisingly not hard to read right now… but I’ve also been observing you guys from here.” Flowey admitted nonchalantly. 

       Sans’s eyes widened a bit. “so you’ve been _watching_ us?”

       “Hey, it’s not like there’s much else I can do! There’s no one down here to kill time with anymore,” Flowey frowned, his expression genuine. “I’ve been keeping an eye on Frisk… watching how their life is going and seeing how happy they are after getting what they journeyed for.”

       “but why do you even care?” Sans tilted his head. “you literally absorbed all our souls and tried to kill frisk numerous times… what does it matter to you anymore?"

       “Heh, those were the days, huh?” Flowey rolled his eyes jokingly. “But hey, Frisk has grown on me. And I regretted what I did. Maybe I still do… I can’t really tell. It’s hard to explain how you’re feeling when you don’t have a soul.” he smirked, almost bitterly. “But… at least _remembering_ the pain and guilt I felt from what I caused… isn’t that good enough?”

       There was a long pause when Flowey looked down at himself with a solemn expression, the only noise being the small rustling of leaves and petals as the breeze tickled the golden flowers around them.

       “Well… enough about me,” Flowey looked up again. “We’re getting off track… you say you came here so I can help you get Chara out of your mind… but I can’t do that, buddy.” he gazed at the pained look that Sans was straining to hide. “I know you're not stupid enough to think I could actually do that, so maybe you really just came here so you could vent to someone who’d be able to understand you… and maybe figure out something from there?”

       Sans looked up from where he was sitting.

       “Golly, you sure are something.” Flowey smiled sadly. “We were mortal enemies at one point, and now you’re coming to me for help against my best friend?” he couldn’t help but laugh a little. “And of all people, you came to _me_? I should be flattered, but why not Frisk? …oh wait. That’s right.” he smirked, almost malevolently. “You just tried to _kill_ them.”

       A Gasterblaster immediately materialized behind Sans, and the skeleton’s smile twisted as the blue light of his left eye cast a disturbing shadow over him. “Are you asking for a bad time?”

       “Calm down there, buddy… you can’t keep resorting to your magic like that,” Flowey looked disinterested. “You’ll end up getting yourself killed if you keep it up… then you’re just _asking_ for a reset.”

       “are you implying that you can actually kill me in your state?”

       “Not at all!” Flowey shook his head, still holding his grin. “Nope, I’m not implying that at all… what I  _am_ implying is that _you’re_ gonna be your own death.”

       The Gasterblaster slowly faded back into oblivion and Sans's expression became indescribable. “…what are you talking about?”

       Flowey’s cynical smile softened into a more sympathetic one. “You know how a monster’s soul becomes weaker when they don’t want to fight? And how the crueler an enemy’s intentions, the more their attacks will hurt?” he explained. That much was common knowledge to both monsters and humans. “Well… what do you think happens when a monster is fighting themselves?” 

       Sans went perfectly still, the neutral smile on his face faltering.

       “You say you’re fighting Chara, but that’s not the case anymore. Chara’s been gone for a long time, even though you fought them in previous timelines.” Flowey gave a thoughtful look. “No… you’re fighting against yourself, now. You’re fighting against the fear that one day, you’ll wake up and be back at square one. The fear that you’ll see your friends and family taken away from you again. The fear of having to face Chara over and over again. The fear of going back to your worst nightmare.” 

       The corners of the flower’s mouth turned up in a sad smile while Sans’s revealed a deep, rare frown. His eyes were lightless once more.

        “Your own fear is consuming you to the point that you actually _want_ the world to reset, in a weird way. You’d rather just get it over with now than continue in this unknowing suspense. You don’t want to risk letting your guard down, only to break at the moment it all starts over again.”  

       The skeleton began to tremble, knees pressed to his chest. Drops of sweat started to bead along his skull in response to his distress.

       “You don’t want to fight, but your fear of resetting is making you. Your fear’s intentions are cruel, and therefore it’s hurting you … you get where I’m going with this, right?”

       He could feel the heavy pressure against his soul; against his whole body, as he struggled to stop shaking.

       “I dunno how to help you, big guy, but you need to pull yourself together. Because if you keep going down this path, you’ll self-destruct. Your soul will destroy itself…”

       Sans threw a hand to his left eye with a gasp, trying to suppress the blue light that shone through against his will. 

          “ **…you’ll die, Sans.** ”

       The haunting sound of a broken bone echoed within the ruins.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My math class ended early so I thought I had the time to write more, but... I ended up writing for over two hours and I couldn't stop. Whoops. Anyways, I’m gonna be busy until the weekend, though, so bare with me for the next couple days while I get some schoolwork out of the way before I continue writing.
> 
> By the way, I’d just like to say that I am very happy that someone drew fanart based off of this fic (Chapter 4, to be precise),  
> so I’ll go ahead and say it: I would LOVE it if you drew fanart of this story! Just be sure to link it to me so I can see it ^^!!
> 
> Picture: http://bluedew12.tumblr.com/post/132093513559/sparkle-queen-itnit-fanarrt-of-a-fanfiction-of


	6. The Voice of Hands

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans reminisces in Snowdin, at this point completely enervated. But instead of a nightmare, his dream leads him to an unexpected reunion.

“…i’ll die, huh?”

Sans pulled his hand away from his eye socket, glancing down at the palm almost as if expecting to see something in it. His eye was searing in pain, so he honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he found blood or anything of the sort. 

Flowey took note of the subtle gesture, but said nothing aloud. “I can’t be of much more help to you… I mean, unless you wanna talk about it?” he glanced away, like he was surprised the words even came out of his mouth. “Or just yell at me, I don’t really care. It’s kinda nice to just hear someone else’s voice after so much silence.”

“…no.” Sans’s expression was no longer pained, despite the fact he was suffering. Most of the emotion in his face was just exhaustion. His teeth were even curved in a small frown. You would think that after keeping up a constant smile, a simple grin would come naturally to him. But smiling right now just hurt. Besides, Flowey already was aware of his pain. He didn’t need to keep holding a smile when it was just them.

“Sans, you obviously gotta get something off your chest. _Anything_.” 

“no.”

Flowey blinked. “Do you think what you’re doing is some kind of determination? Because it’s not.” The petals drooped a bit. “This is cowardice. Idiocy! You’re trying not to burden your friends with this, but how do you think they’re going to react when it only gets worse from here?”

Sans slowly got up to his feet. “…it was nice talking to ya, kid.”

“You’re going to die if you don’t fix this, Sans! You’ll just be more of a burden to them when you’re dead than you will be if you just try to fix this! How will Toriel feel about this?! Your brother?! Think about your brother, Sans! And Frisk!!”

“i’ll seeya later, alright?”

**“You promised Frisk you would fix this!!”**

_Crack._

 

* * *

 

"i can't go back. not right now. not yet."

Sans stared at his reflection through the window that was fogged up from the cold outside. His expression was stoic, and with each type of grin he tried to glue on his face, it just made him look more and more pathetic. The dark circles under his eye sockets didn't help at all. He was a mess, and now he  _looked_ like one, too. Not just the sloppy, lazy kind that everyone accepted him as. He looked like an emotional wreck.  
He didn't even look like Sans anymore. 

The skeleton sat at the edge of his bed… well, his old bed. Snowdin wasn’t far a walk from the ruins, so he figured it would help to visit someplace familiar. And to a degree, it did. It was strange how calm everything appeared. Nothing was out of place, give or take a few layers of dust blanketing their old furniture. But even after all this time, after always thinking he'd seen enough of this place... he was relaxing at the sight of it. He knew where everything was. He knew his route. He knew his role. He knew his lines, down to each word, and he strangely took comfort in it. He relaxed at the fact he always knew exactly what would happen here, and when it would happen. That even after leaving this home for so long, it was still the same place. The place he and his brother lived. The place they shared so many memories together…  
****_The place he was forced to play his part in, every time._

Sans grit his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as his head rested in his hands at the corrupted thought. He took in a deep breath while his fingers traced over the cracks in his skull, trying to ease his bones that were sore and stiff from the lack of rest. His breath, although still shaky, died down to a slow rhythm after he laid back against the mattress. At least here, no one would find him. No one would come running if his magic got out of control here. He could at least try to rest without the worry of his brother catching him in such a state.

He started to doze off.

It’s never been this bad… he’s had nightmares before. Ever since he first pieced together the remnants of other timelines, he’s been haunted by them. Since they left the underground, they’d only gotten worse. But not _this_ bad. They would usually just come in waves; he’d have a restless night or two, and then that’d be it for a few weeks. But he hasn’t slept peacefully in days. He’s always had a firm grip on his magic, but now he could barely control it when those memories came flooding in. 

He could always hold it back without any worry, but now he was literally breaking apart.  
Was Flowey right? Was he really dying at this rate?

Suddenly, a small creak of the door made Sans jerk up and back into a sitting position. At first, he just stared off into space, disoriented from being pulled back from the limbo between consciousness and sleep. He didn’t look to see who it was that interrupted his rest. Did it matter? No one was supposed to be here. No one was in the underground anymore. No one except Flowey, but he wouldn’t leave the ruins.  
_No one should be here._

Sans hesitated before quickly looking up at the door, but he didn’t see a figure. The door was ajar and he knew he had closed it when he came in, so someone clearly opened it. _But who?_

He could already feel the pressure in his chest, a growing fear.  
He was just waiting for the freak to appear, to pull out the knife and tear his limbs apart.  
What he found, though, was not what he would have ever expected.  

“ **DARK.** ”

Sans’s breath hitched in his throat.

“ **DARKER.** ”

He felt a warmth surround his face. His vision went black.

“ **YET DARKER.** ”

Hands must have snuck up from behind him and covered his eyes, but not in an attempt to blind him.  
    It was as if they were connecting with his very mind. As if they were _speaking_ to him.

“ **THE DARKNESS KEEPS GROWING.** ”

_The voice of hands. There was no mistaking._

“ **THE SHADOWS CUTTING DEEPER.** ”

Sans started to shake. Tears beaded up in his eyes. He knew these lines. He knew that voice. It was mangled and inhuman - some would say ungodly - but deep down, he could sense it. That presence. It was like that man's very soul resonated within that mutilated voice.

“…What do **you** think?” 

Sans slowly pulled away, standing up from the edge of the bed so he could turn and face the man properly. He stared at the disfigured being, whom brought his hands to his chest so he could sign a greeting.

“Hello, Sans.”

Silence followed for a few seconds before Sans decided to break it. “…first the flower, now you?” His joking smile was back on his face, even though it was clearly a vain attempt to appear fine. "m-man, what is it with me today and talking with people completely out of the ordinary?" he started to laugh while hanging his head to hide his struggle. "i can't get a moment of silence, can i? ...i really am losing it, aren't i? it's not just the kid... you're just here to break me, too. you don't even have anything to do with this situation! why are... why are you even here?"

The same hands that held his eyes a moment ago were now cradling his cheekbones, and Sans could no longer tell if the warm feeling was from his palms or from the tears that finally started falling down his face.

"please go away," Sans choked. "i know this is a dream. it's another nightmare. just... go away. take me back to the corridor. i'll die to the kid again. i'll die over and over again. but don't make me look at you. i can't. not after what happened... i can't. "

The man pulled Sans to his chest without a word, and the effect was instant.

"...gaster," he wept. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have NO idea where I was going with this chapter! I have a basis for how I want this fic to end, but I don't want to reach that point just yet, so... this just happened. Out of place? Yes. Intended? Kinda. I don't really know what came about me to introduce Gaster, but I'm glad I did. Cuz I love that guy :3


	7. Open Door

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> With the help of an old friend, Sans finally realizes with what his actions are doing to everyone around him.

       The color in room around Sans slowly dissipated into greyness, but he didn’t even noticed until he had pulled away from Gaster to look around. It took him only a second to look back up at his mentor, tears blurring his vision.

       “why are you here?” he asked, voice choking in as much of a throat as a skeleton could have. “this doesn’t concern you. this is between me and the kid… well, no. this is just between me.” he rubbed at his eye sockets in frustration, only to force a vexed chuckle when he felt the hand on the top of his head. He looked back up to see Gaster signing with the other one.

       “Who would I be to stand back and watch my boy struggle so deeply within this?”

       “i’m not your boy.” Sans retorted, but the pained expression softened. They weren’t related by blood, but Gaster was the best father figure Sans had ever dreamed of. It never surprised him when he was called the scientist’s son.

       “Sans. Why are you—“

       “how are you even here?!” Sans exclaimed. “this can't be real… you’re… you’re dead. you died in your creation. you died in the machine! you—“

       Sans froze once again at the fingers hovering over his face, and the reaction was immediate. The skeleton was soothed by the touch, like he always was. He was almost sure Gaster leaked magic through his fingertips to make him feel this way so quickly. His mere presence made Sans feel completely at peace; something he hasn’t felt in a long, long time.

       “… _how_?” Sans hung his head, his posture uneasy. He suddenly felt like he was going to collapse. His body was screaming for rest. He needed rest. He needed sleep. He needed peace. But he refused. “…how are you here?”

       “Sans. I was scattered across time and space…” Gaster signed, his voice somehow emanating from him despite the fact he wasn’t moving his mouth. “I can see all and nothing. I can see the first timeline and the last… I am nowhere and everywhere, all at once,” the being smiled. “It’s taking every fiber of my being to be in one place at once, in front of you right now. I cannot hold this for long. In a few moments, I will scatter once more across the space-time continuum. So Sans… please let us use this opportunity to help you.”

       Sans looked around them once more, seeing that they were no longer in his old room. They were on the surface, outside in the town that he currently lived in. “dings, why are we—“ he couldn’t even finish his question before it was answered.

       A short distance away from them, they were there. Undyne, Alphys, Toriel, Frisk… Papyrus. They were all there, in a panic as they looked around for something.

       “gaster, no. please, don’t let them see me, don’t—“

       Sans felt a hand on his shoulder. “Calm down, my boy. They cannot see us. But I want you to see them.” He reluctantly obeyed the voice, watching his friends from afar.

       Alphys had a stack of papers in her hands that she was struggling to keep together, for every now and then Undyne would take a sheet and slam it onto the wall they walked beside. Sans could barely tell what was on it from here, but it looked like some sort of picture of Sans. 

       Toriel looked like she was at her breaking point as she paced along, stopping every stranger that passed by to ask them something. It was only when he saw his brother that he pieced it together what was going on.

       “SANS!!” Papyrus wailed, teary eyes darting around frantically in search of his brother. “Sans, where are you?! PLEASE COME OUT, THIS ISN’T FUNNY!!” He had Frisk sitting atop his shoulders so they could get a better look around. From the expression Frisk had on his face, Sans could tell they were determined to find him.

       Worry was etched in all of their faces, and soon the expression lingered onto Sans’s as well. He even brought his hand up to wave, but he had to remind himself that they couldn’t see him. “guys… i’m… i’m right here.”

       He slowly looked up at Gaster, chuckling softly at the goofy, yet warm smile he received. “okay, i get it… i can’t just run away from them,” he looked away from the taller man’s gaze. “i need to go back, but… i can’t just tell them about this. the only reason i’ve hid it up to this point is to protect them”. he rubbed his head, completely forgetting until now that the cracks were still there. Heh, he probably really looked like Gaster’s son right about now.

       “Sans… there’s a difference between protecting your friends and destroying someone for your own justice.”

       The pupil’s in Sans’s eyes shrank, and his mouth drew into a thin line. “it's not like i'm purposely destorying myself... gaster, this _is_ protection.”

       “Is it really?” Gaster signed, kneeling down so he was at Sans’s level. The smaller skeleton laughed, annoyed at the gesture. Only this man could make him feel like a little kid. “There is nothing to protect your friends from anymore, Sans. You’ve done it… you’ve gotten the happy ending.”

       Sans was growing frustrated. The lights in his eyes disappeared. “so why am i still so afraid?!” he exclaimed, distress cracking his voice. “that damn flower told me my fear was what’s destroying me, so how can i make it go away?!”

       Gaster put a single finger against Sans’s chest, which made the skeleton stop in the midst of spluttering out another question. “Sans… it’s uncertainty,” he answered it so simply, without even having to think about it. “You’ve played the same game over and over again for so long. You’ve been nothing more than a puppet, and now you’ve forgotten what it’s like to make a choice and not know what comes next.” his eyes closed. “But think of it this way. You can now make your story how _**you**_ want it. No one can control you anymore. _Your life is your own now_.”

       Sans blinked several times, contemplating that statement before he slowly hung his head, gazing at the finger pressed against the middle of his shirt. All of a sudden, he winced in surprise as that very finger came up and flicked his face playfully. Sans stood there in shock, glancing up at Gaster as if he had to have imagined what just happened.

_Did... did he really just... do that?_

       When he came to the realization, he couldn’t help. A chuckle snuck its way out of him, and after a few seconds of letting Gaster’s trick sink in, Sans was guffawing loudly. It wasn't a fake one, either. It was real, and almost childlike, so amused by such a simple action.

       “you… heh, you really got me, huh? you… you’re so silly, g.” Sans clutched his chest tightly, his grin fully genuine as he spoke between breaths of laughter. Despite the weariness, he felt at peace. Gaster was able to take all the pain away from him, even if it was for just a moment. However, it was indeed only for a moment before the worry weighed Sans down once more.

       Gaster had a strained look on his face, and he was never one to hide an expression. Sans could see it, clear as day. “what… what? gaster? what is it?!” he panicked.

       His mentor’s smile was still strong on his face. “My time is running out. I can feel it. I’m about to shatter again.”

       “what?!” The lights in Sans’s eyes darkened. “no, no no no. gaster, you can’t leave me now! not after… not now!”

       “Sans, I am not leaving you… you know that. I already told you… I am everywhere.” Gaster held his arms out, and although they looked like they would break at any moment, Sans took the opportunity to completely fall into them. He clutched the man’s shirt like a lifeline, tears beading in his eyes once more.

       “gaster, please…”

       “Sans, _promise_ me something.” The smaller skeleton looked up again. “Promise me you’ll try… and that you’ll keep going. That you’ll try to fix this and… you’ll keep living.”

       The tears fell. Sans could feel the pit of worry sinking deeper and deeper into his chest. “y-you know i hate making promises.”

           “Sans.”

       He sobbed. “… **_i promise_**.”

       Gaster smiled and brought his forehead forward to touch against his student’s, and Sans closed his eyes as his mentor disintegrated.

 -

       He opened them again, and he was back in Snowdin, lying on his mattress. Sans slowly sat up and looked around the room. Nothing was broken. Nothing was out of place besides the open door.

       The skeleton took in a deep breath as his swung his legs over the edge of the bed, getting to his feet and putting his fingers to the center of his skull.

           “i’m gonna need a vacation after all this.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ALRIGHTY!! Gaster completely came out of nowhere in my last chapter, but I think it turned out pretty well in this one ^^;
> 
> I know I'm going a thousand directions with this fic, and I'm really sorry about that. I just want to be able to incorporate all of my favorite characters into it, and I think that someone like Gaster is just too interesting a character to leave out, especially in a story involving Sans. So, uh... if you have any criticism, please feel free to give it to me, so I know what flaws I can improve on here~ Thanks so much for reading!!
> 
> P.S. HERE'S A PIC I DREW FOR THIS CHAPTER :D http://dunkin-bone-uts.tumblr.com/post/132773509426/sans-promise-me-something-the-smaller


	8. Flash of Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seemingly, everything's looking up. But Sans has everyone fooled. To an extent, even himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long for a new chapter!  
> I was having a bit of a block with this, since I didn't know exactly how to open it up, but it's finally here so... enjoy!

       Sans slowly opened up his eyes, seeing that he was no longer in his room in Snowdin, but in his new one. His room in the house Papyrus and he got after they had made it to the surface… his new home. 

       He put his fingers to his head, trying to decipher if the cracks he was feeling were there before, or if they were growing. There were too many to keep track of. He chuckled at that. “it’s a shame halloween passed. this would definitely be a good look for me.” he muttered halfheartedly to himself. He looked at the door, pushing it open and glancing over the railing of the staircase to see everyone in the living room below him. 

       “Are you sure he didn’t tell you where he was going, Frisk?” He heard Toriel mumble as she held the child in her lap on the couch. The only response was a worried shake of the kid’s head. Sans frowned.

       “Of _course_ he wouldn't say! We're talking about my brother here!!” Papyrus chimed in, his voice naturally bubbly despite the defeated look on the tall skeleton’s face. “He's always one to... to take these shortcuts. To go off without a word." 

       “B-but this is different, Papyrus.” Alphys sniffled, on the verge of tears as to be expected. “Sure, he takes a lot of shortcuts to get from place to place, but he’s never just… disappeared like this.” the reptilian-like monster jumped as the woman next to her slammed her fist onto the coffee table. 

       “Damn it, Sans! Where the hell did you run off to?! If you went and did something stupid I swear I’m gonna beat the crap outta you…”

       Sans slowly trudged down the stairs, not making a sound. After listening to his friends’ panicked dialogue for a moment more, he smiled softly and kicked the heel of his foot against the carpet. 

           “come on, guys. quit your worrying. i was just—“

       “We don't have time for your jokes, Sans! We're trying to figure out where Sans went.” Papyrus started, but when he looked up to meet the shocked looks on everyone’s faces, it clicked in his head. “W-wait, Sans? SANS!!” He gasped, jumping off of the couch to pounce on his brother. 

       Sans expected as much, but it didn’t keep him from wincing when he was tackled to the ground. He let out a breathy chuckle as everyone rushed up to him, joining in on the dogpile-like hug. 

       “Sans! Oh my goodness, you’re alive!”  
       “S-Sans, what were you thinking? Where were you?!”  
       “I oughta kill you right now, you little punk!”  
       “Sans, what happened?! YOU’RE HURT!”

       The small skeleton closed one eye in discomfort when Papyrus brought his glove-covered hand to feel the cracks along his skull. “ah, i’ll be fine. just got a bit banged up is all.” He risked a glance over at Frisk, whom had tears welling up in their eyes from both the overwhelming relief that his friend was alright and worry that he was so injured. 

       “i’m alright, kid… well, sort of,” he wriggled out of the hug and shared a look between everyone, his smile half-assed. “i, uh… i had to take some time to figure something out. you see, i… uh, how do i put this.” he stuffed his hands in his pockets casually, his eyes dull. “i guess i’ve been having these sorts of nightmares recently and… i needed to figure out why.”

       “Sans…” Toriel put a hand to her mouth, about to say something else until Sans cut her off with a remorseful look on his face.

           “and, uh… about hurting the kid, I—“

       “Save it.” Toriel narrowed her eyes, giving him a clue as to how much fury she was containing at the crime he’d committed. Judging by the expression Frisk was wearing, he could guess they forgave him and wanted everyone to do the same. Easier said than done, obviously. He knew he was gonna be in for a bad time with her, and probably everyone else once things had calmed down. “I'll be sure to talk to you about that later, but not now." She hung her head. "For now… you wouldn’t happen to want to _talk_ about any of this with us, would you? To fill us in on your dilemma, whatever these nightmares may be?”

       Sans lifted his head, surprised for some reason when he heard that question. He looked at everyone’s faces. Their expressions were attentive. It seemed they all wanted to know what he had been so caught up about for so long, which was to be expected, but he didn’t really think up a response beforehand.

       “it’s… it’s really stupid, i just…” Sans shrugged, looking back down. “just… some weird dream where i’m alone. none of you are there… you all died, and…” he paused. He knew ahead of time they would want to know, but he never figured out how to word it properly. “crazy, huh? i mean, i’d never be that _bone_ -ly here. you guys are always here for me, so it’s really weird that…” his sentence trailed off. Not a single laugh, groan, or even a smile, was made from that pun. It just made everyone look at him more pitifully. He really didn’t like that.

       “Look, the point is… I got some help. I had a talking to, and… I think everything’s gonna be okay.” he finished with that, and he was relieved to see mostly everyone buying it.

       “A-are you sure, Sans… I mean, you know we’re here for you, right?” Alphys stuttered, her fingers twiddling together. She looked at Undyne, who remained silent since she wasn’t so good with this lovey-dovey friendship crap. But the scaly woman looked more at ease with Sans convincing her. 

       “Sans… you have to stop keeping everything locked up for so long.” Toriel wasn’t as quick to judge Sans’s attempt to calm them, but she was still definitely relieved to at least see her best friend alive. She was also one of the few people who could tell whenever he was flat-out lying, but she didn't see any sign of blatant dishonesty with him right now. “Come here, let me heal you.” she gently reached out for his hand, but he didn’t take hers. He just followed her to the couch, that grin still on his face. 

       “i know you can’t quite _put your finger on it,_ tori. i can’t either. but try not to worry… i’ll be okay.” Toriel smiled ever so faintly, not really at the joke, but his attempt at reassuring her. He was going to ask why she was here instead of out of town with Asgore dealing with political business like planned, but he was sure that Papyrus must have called her in a fit of panic of finding his brother missing. He didn’t wanna bother hearing that story, so he kept silent.

       Papyrus, although usually the first to be appeased at a situation like this, was not convinced in the slightest compared to the others. He grew up with Sans. He knew his brother was good at hiding things, but when something was effecting him _this_ badly, a simple “i’m fine” wasn’t going to cut it.

       “Sans, I…” Papyrus frowned when he got Sans’s attention as Toriel literally worked her magic to heal the cracks in his skull. “I will be on guard tonight, so I want you to get some sleep."

       Sans raised a nonexistent brow. “that’s funny, bro. usually you scold me for not doing my work.”

       “Y-yes, but... overworking yourself is just as bad— no, it's  **worse**  than not working at all! So I give you permission to be lazy just this once.” Papyrus was sweating nervously as he tried to bounce around the actual topic while still making sure his brother would understand him.

       “you got something on your mind, pap? go on, _spill your guts_.”

       “LOOK WHO’S TALKING!” Papyrus groaned, hand smacking against his forehead.

       Toriel sighed. “Now, now. The last thing we need right now is bickering.” She rested her hands in her lap, giving Sans a once-over to make sure she patched everything up while Undyne blurted something to Papyrus, causing a spat between the two. Sans toned it out.  
“Sans, would it help you relax a bit more if we spent the night with you?”

       Sans shrugged tiredly. “eh, i’ll be fine. besides, after having the kid here i just don’t feel right being given all this company.” He sensed she was going to object and say it would be no trouble at all, but he quickly put a hand up to stop her.

           “if anything happens, i’ll give you a call.”

 

* * *

 

 

       It was dark; too fuzzy for him to see.   
He narrowed his eyes to try and better adjust his vision, but to little avail.   
It was gold, that’s all he could write down. The room was golden, and he could feel the faintest warmth of light seeping through.

_It was the corridor._

       Sans rubbed the sleeve of his jacket against his face, an exhausted sigh escaping him. _This again_ , he thought. He wasn’t even surprised by this dream anymore. It was just routine at this point; the same song and dance. 

       He pulled his arm away from his face, his vision clearing up, but what he saw caught him off guard. He expected the fallen child, the _freak._ But they weren’t there. What he saw in their place was a potted plant, the blue flower shimmering with a mystical aura. An echo flower.

       Sans gave a confused look as he stepped forward, inspecting the plant cautiously. He leaned his head in, silently observing to see if it had anything to say.

“ **Behind you.** ”

       Sans gasped and immediately turned around, blue light flickering in his eye. A small step back, and he heard the branch under his feet snap into pieces. He looked up. A small patch of snow among one of the tall trees broke loose and landed atop his head.

 _Snowdin_? How did he get here? He didn’t take a shortcut…

       His thoughts trailed off when he saw the bridge in the distance, a silhouette standing by the edge of it. Although disoriented, it didn’t take Sans long to figure out where he was and what he was doing.

_The kid just came out of the ruins, didn’t they?_

       He looked behind him at the closed doors.

_I bet they killed her._

       He looked back ahead, gritting his teeth as the figure turned to stare at him.

_They killed her without a care in the world. And now they’re gonna try and kill my brother._

       He caught a glimpse of those red eyes, and he lost it.

       “sorry, kid. i’m not playing your little game this time!” The light in Sans’s left eye was replaced with a blue flame as he lifted his hand up and then thrusted it forward. Bones materialized out of thin air and targeted the figure, flying through the air fast enough to test the speed of sound. The kid didn’t stand a chance.

       He watched as they were impaled before they could even react. 

       An agonizing scream rang through the air, which not only caught Sans off guard, but made his chest feel heavy. _That voice._

           “SAAAANS!!”

       “no,” Sans spluttered, instantly running forward to meet the fallen silhouette, only realizing too late that his brother was lying on the ground, writhing weakly in pain as he tried to remove one of the bones that pierced right through his battle body.

       “no, no, no no no, what… oh god papyrus, what are you—?!“

       “WHAT… WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME, SANS? I THOUGHT WE WERE BROTHERS!”

       Sans fell to his knees, bones turning into a sickly ashen color. “papyrus, no! no no no, god no, i'm so sorry! i didn’t mean it!! I thought you were the kid!” The bones that tore through his brother disappeared in the blink of an eye, but it was too late. The damage had already been done.

       Papyrus’s eyes narrowed bitterly. “SO ONLY NOW DO YOU TRY TO STOP THEM?! YOU NEVER TRIED TO SAVE ME BEFORE!”

       “papyrus, i… no, that’s not—“

       “YOU JUST WATCHED. YOU JUST STOOD THERE AND WATCHED, SANS.”

       “Papyrus!!” 

       “AT LEAST YOU SAVED EVERYONE THE TROUBLE AND JUST KILLED ME HERE NOW.”

       The taller skeleton started to disintegrate into dust, and Sans vainly attempted to grab him in desperation but only felt the soft, sandy particles slip between his fingers and the red scarf he was able to catch.

       “…Papyrus, I…” Tears fell down his face as he brought his hands to his head, sinking into the snow. "No, I thought... I thought this was over. No more resets... no more seeing this." he sobbed, clutching the fabric in his hands. "I thought we were finally free, Papyrus, I’m… I’m so…I'm—”

           “ **Guilty**.”

       Sans lifted his head, eyes disappearing upon catching sight of the red-eyed child standing in his brother’s ashes.

       “It’s your fault, Sans. You didn’t save him. You didn’t _try_ to save anybody. You just let them die. The world is ending, all because you wanted a break.”

       "Fuck you," Sans snapped angrily, hating how weak he appeared with his voice cracking. "I've been trying to help you, kid... I made a promise to protect you, but you... you pushed me!"

       The child shrugged, smile distorted. Their eyes seemed to be dripping. "A promise is just a string of words you say you won't break. Is it really so important to you that you would wait until  **everyone you love** is dead in order to break it?"

       Sans trembled as he caught sight of the knife. He wanted to move. He wanted to get up and tackle the kid, to rip their guts out and tear them apart. Hell, he would rather just run away than remain on the ground kneeling in front of the demon.  _But he couldn't move._

       "It's your fault, Sans. You could have stopped me right as I left the ruins."

       He clutched his head, curling up against the snow as tears silently streamed down his face.

        "You could have saved everyone."

       He shook violently, trying to scream. Trying to call for help. Trying to make any noise at all.

       "But you  _didn't._  You just let me kill, and reset, and kill, and reset..." They repeated those words over and over, faster and faster, until suddenly, they stopped and hovered over the skeleton. " **Now let's rinse and repeat.** "

           He felt his ribs being sliced in half.

~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *bad time intensifies*


	9. Voided Sockets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sans has a mental breakdown after being awoken by another nightmare, but thankfully his brother is able to catch it.

       Papyrus was sitting on the couch of the living room, his eyes glued to the television that illuminated his face in the dark. Though, he wasn’t really watching anything, despite it being one of his favorite reruns of Mettaton’s cooking show. His mind was too preoccupied on his brother. 

       He had been checking in on Sans every hour or so, making sure he was asleep. He would watch him shift and writhe under the covers for a couple minutes, but it would eventually subside and he’d feel reassured enough to leave his brother be. Even still, gazing at that pained expression made Papyrus’s chest feel heavy. He knew his brother was an expert at hiding things. He always had been. Sans would wear a mask whenever things got rough, and he would either use all his effort to lighten the mood or he would do everything he could to look out for his little brother. Papyrus was naive, even unaware of some things, but he wasn’t stupid. He knew Sans was in pain, and despite everyone else’s hopes that it would blow over, he knew it was only getting worse.   
       He would have to talk with Sans in the morning about this-

       Just as that thought ended, Papyrus was jerked out of his head when he heard a strangled gasp muffled through the walls upstairs. He quickly jumped to his feet, a deep and quite unusual frown on his face, and ran up the stairs two at a time. 

       “SANS?!” Papyrus called out, taking no time at all to reach his brother’s door. He glanced down at the threshold and noticed the bright blue light leaking out from the gap between the door and the carpet. He went into a panic. 

       “SANS, BROTHER?!” He shouted, fumbling with the knob in a vain attempt to unlock it. He froze at the voice that responded to him.

       “Go away!” Sans gasped out, and Papyrus could hear the faint sobs that his brother was straining to keep inside. Oh, this was not good. Not good at all.

       “SANS, PLEASE!” Papyrus pushed at the door, gritting his teeth before he thunked his head on the door. This was bad. Very very bad. His brother was in pain. He was crying. He was scared. Papyrus _had_ to get in there, but how…

           Suddenly, he had an idea. 

 

* * *

       Sans clutched at his head tightly, rifts forming and gradually growing from his left eye and around his sweating skull, as well as small cracks appearing along the rest of his body with every breath he took. His knees were pulled to his chest and he sat in the fetal position as he brought his hands down, fingers digging into the fabric of his shorts. He couldn’t move. He didn’t _want_ to move. He knew if he tried to, he would just break. 

       Everything in the room was glowing with a bright blue aura, Sans himself included. The cyan flame of his eye was crackling, dancing wildly along his body. It burned, but not physically. Instead, he felt like his entire spirit was on fire. He couldn’t stop it. He didn’t _want_ to stop it. He knew if he tried to, it would just consume him. 

       “Get out of here, Papyrus!” He buried his head into his lap. "...please." he sobbed, eyes wide and expression frozen in complete horror. He couldn’t even see where he was. The image of what he had just seen kept replaying over and over in his head. His brother had died.

       The child had killed him…  
          No.  
_He_ killed him. 

           “Guilty,” he could still hear Chara's voice in his mind. “It’s your fault, Sans. You could have saved everyone. But you _didn’t._ ” 

       His brother hated him. Everyone hated him, because he didn’t save them. He failed them. 

           “It’s all your fault. You let your brother die.”

       No matter how many times his world reset, he was always just a second too late. 

           “You killed him.”

       It was _his_ fault everyone was dead. It was his…

           “It's your fault.”

       It was…

           “ **Y O U R F A U L T.”**

       Sans screamed, power surging and crashing into everything around him. Socks and scribbled notes disintegrated within the flames. The lamp sitting atop his dresser shattered, bits of glass from the lightbulb flying throughout the room. Said dresser cracked and sank into the floor, imploding under the pressure. Even the treadmill he seldom used that was tucked away in the corner of the room dented from his magic. 

           His scream ended with heavy pants and erratic breathing, and he was so out of it that he didn’t even hear the noise from outside his window.

 

* * *

 

       “SANS!!” Papyrus gasped when he heard the scream, shielding himself from the glass shards that flew out from the now broken window he was trying to climb up to. He dodged most of them, give or take a few jagged scrapes on his arms and tears along his favorite red scarf, but it was nothing worth worrying about. Nothing more important than the matter at hand, anyway. 

       He trudged up the wall of the house, aiming for the blue light that shone through the open windowpane. Sweat beaded on his skull as he climbed frantically, finally gripping the edge of the window. He could feel the pressure of magic against him immediately, but although it slowed him down, he did not give up. 

       The skeleton struggled, hanging off the edge of the house for several minutes as he tried to find the right grip to pull himself up, but eventually he managed to crawl his way through. His attention immediately went to Sans, but instead of rushing toward him like he usually would, he stopped dead in his tracks upon the sight of his brother.

       Sans didn’t even acknowledge his presence yet. He just sat there with a quivering frown, shaking fitfully as the cracks along his body grew larger faster. His head was still in his lap as he clutched his head, cries and screams barely muffled by his clothes.

       “…S…Sans?” Papyrus’s voice fell to a whisper, but despite how quiet he was, his brother shot up at the sound. His movements were irregular.

       “N-no… No! Stop, please! Get out! GET OUT!” Sans’s fingers dug deeper into his head, blue eye glowing brighter. Tears were rushing down his face, and it broke Papyrus’s heart to see such an agonized expression on such a usually laid-back and happy guy. 

       “Sans… brother, just calm down.” Papyrus held his hands up into the air, but he instantly regretted it as the movement only seemed to startle his brother all the more. 

       “No, Papyrus!” Sans sobbed, scrambling as far back on the bed as he could go until he hit the wall it was placed against. He was hyperventilating. "D-Don't come near me! I don't want to hurt you!"

       Papyrus took a small step forward, struggling to walk against the force of such raw power. “Sans-“

       “I SAID STAY BACK!” A mixture of a cry and a growl escaped the smaller skeleton as he threw his arm up, grabbing his brother by the soul and shoving him against the closed door on the other side of the room. It cracked under the force, as did Papyrus. 

       Papyrus choked out a pained gasp at the shock of the impact, eyes watering from the surge that vibrated through him. The pain was like stubbing your toe, only it rang throughout every bone in his body. “S-Sans!" he choked out, trying to struggle against the magic force that bound him in place. “What are you doing, Sans? Pull yourself together!” 

       “J-Just go away!” Sans clutched his chest with one hand while the hand that held his brother remained outstretched in the air. “Go now, while you still can! Run, Papyrus. Run and don’t talk to anyone, especially the kid! They seem nice now, but they’re gonna turn right around and kill you!” He slammed his fist against the mattress, unintentionally bringing Papyrus down with it. “Again, and again, and again! And no matter how many times I run to you, I’m always too late. They'd kill you, and Toriel, and Undyne, and everyone I love is _GONE_! AND IT’S _**MY**_ FAULT BECAUSE I STOPPED TRYING TO SAVE YOU!!” He squeezed his eyes shut, grunting in pain as each punch aganst the mattress summoned another rift on his hand. 

       “SANS, STOP!” Papyrus screamed, trying to pick himself up from the floor only to be slammed into it again. “Stop this and talk to me!! You're my brother, and—“ he cut off mid-sentence with another gasp of pain, but he continued after trying to adjust to it. “...and I want to help you! SO PLEASE, SANS, JUST QUIT!!”

       Papyrus didn’t expect the reaction he got at that last word. Instantly, the bind on him was released, and the tall skeleton fell to the ground one final time. He cringed at the sound of everything else falling from the magical hold, but he didn’t bother to even look around at the damage. Instead, his eyes were fixated on his brother, who seemed to have frozen in time. He was as still as a statue, which was a huge 180 degree turn from the scrambling, panicking mess he was just a second ago. He didn’t even look like he was breathing. For a long moment, the only sound that could be heard was the small, popping sound of blue fire and the cracking sound of Sans's bones gradually breaking. His deep frown curved up into a thin line.  

       “…quit?” Sans lifted his head, tears still fresh on his face. The flame lingered around his head, but his eyes were gone. Black.  
“… i can’t quit. not ever.”

       Papyrus struggled to get to his feet, all energy having left him from that attack. He was trying to regain his breath after the adrenaline left him, but his pants sounded more like sobs. The wounds on his brother and the look on his face were already horrible enough to have to gaze at, but something else caught his attention during that fight that completely broke his spirits.

       Sans's soul was shaking erratically within him, trying to find an escape but unable to. That little white heart was trying to reach out, so desperate for the contact of another, but it kept being pushed back by his fears. It was like an invisible wall had trapped him, and the cage was getting smaller by the second. 

       By the time Papyrus noticed it, the walls had completely closed in on the heart. _If it pushed any further…_

       Papyrus took a step forward, but was a lot slower this time around. “Brother… let me talk to you. Let me help you.” 

       Sans looked like he didn’t even hear him, but he spoke anyways. “i can never quit. every time i try to take a break, you’re dead. everyone is, and by the time i can get myself together, i’m dead as well.” He wasn’t even facing Papyrus. His voided sockets were staring at nothing. “you can’t help me.”

       Papyrus took another step forward. “I can’t help you if you don’t give me a chance to…” he slowly stretched his arm out, eyes watery and full of perturbation while his brother’s were completely emotionless.

       “you don’t know the pain. you never will, even if i tell you everything.” Sans was extremely tense. “you won’t understand. you’ll never understand.”

       “Sans, I-“

       "You’ll NEVER understand the pain of seeing the people you love die over and over again!” Sans snapped, suddenly brought out of his emotionless bind. The blue light in his eye reignited. “You’ll never understand this pain, because you have the blessing to forget. EVERYONE forgets except for me! No one knows about resets, and no one is aware that at any moment, this will all be gone!” He clutched the bedsheets so tightly that if he had any skin on his knuckles, they would have turned white. 

          “Sans…” 

       “Isn’t that delicious?!” Sans laughed bitterly, almost crazily. His thought process was wavering. He was losing it. “This is all over. This is finally it for me, and yet I’ve never been so haunted in my life! I remember every single time that freak left the ruins with a knife in hand. Every single time I’ve seen your dust spread out across the snow. Every single time I’ve had to fight them, and _**lost**_ , because everything that was worth living for was taken away from me!” His smile almost reached to his eyes. 

     “The numbers… the amount of timelines. They still keep going up, even now.” He giggled. “The number of people that leave the ruins… that I meet… that _kill_ you.” His laugh echoed eerily in the room, and he was once again staring off into nothing. “They keep growing. The numbers keep growing, and you keep dying, and I keep having to relive it. Over and over and over!” 

       Papyrus shuddered at the maniacal look on his brother’s face. “Sans, stop acting like this! Look at me.” 

       “Over and over.” Sans grinned. “All those humans… all those Charas.” He snickered, shoulders shaking from the laughs that rumbled within him. “They’ll keep coming. They’ll keep killing you, and I’ll keep doing nothing because there’s no longer a point to it all. What’s the point of saving you if you’re already gone?” He finally turned to face Papyrus, his expression unlike any other. It was almost demented. “By extension, I guess that means _I’m_ killing you.” 

       Papyrus’s eyes widened. “Sans, snap out of it, please! You’re scaring me!” 

       “ _Scaring_ you, huh?” Sans kept laughing as if Papyrus had told the funniest joke in the world. “Good. You _should_ be scared of me. You should run. You should just leave me be, because otherwise I’ll just kill you again. And again, and again, and a—!”

       Sans cut off when he was suddenly tackled, smile breaking upon the feeling of his brother’s arms around him. He blinked several times, gaze fixated on the door as his brother’s hold tightened on him. “…bro,” he whispered, voice returning to normal as if nothing had happened. “are… are you hugging me?”

       He stilled when he felt Papyrus’s arms shaking, and he tried to pull away to get a look at him but his brother refused to pull out of the hug. Papyrus just sat there, trembling against Sans, and he swore he heard a sob.

       “Saaanns…” Papyrus whimpered, face buried into his brother’s shoulder. “Please, don’t scare me like that ever again!" 

       Sans’s face fell. “ah… right," his voice was distant. "you… you didn’t know i had that kind of power, did you?” he muttered, wincing a little when the hug was tightened to the point of being uncomfortable.

       “Not the power, Sans! I don't care about that!!” Papyrus cried. “Your powers don't scare me, it's that expression you wore! I don’t want you _looking_ at me like that again!” he choked out. “That look… th-that wasn’t my brother. Even when you’re in pain… even when you try to protect me, in all those nightmares." he tried vainly to stop his crying. "Even against that evil human, you’ve never had that look on your face.” 

       “p…papyrus?” Sans cracked, his face once again becoming wet with tears despite the fact he was completely silent now. Not a single sob rang through him. “y-you... what are you-”

       “I know, Sans,” He heard his brother whisper, and those words gave him the feeling of a heart stopping. "Those nightmares... I thought that's all they were... but they're not, are they?" Papyrus finally pulled away, and Sans reluctantly gazed up and into his pained eyes, which were glowing a soft, soothing orange.

           “ _I know_.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh my gosh, this was my favorite chapter to write! I'm absolutely enamored by the brotherly love between Papyrus and Sans, and I think it came out so nicely in here! Proof? My face is wet ;w; 
> 
> More to come next chapter!


	10. Orange and Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The nightmares aren't just dreams, are they? They're fragments of a past and future buried across space that can't be forgotten. Papyrus finally realizes that, and Sans doesn't know how to handle the fact his brother knows as much as him.

**“HALT, HUMAN!”**

Papyrus frowned as the child took another step forward, ignoring his command. 

“Hey, quit moving while I’m taking to you!” he called, eyes easily adjusted to see the figure through the icy mist. “I, the Great Papyrus, have some things to say. First: You’re a freaking weirdo!” he crossed his arms over his chest, as if pouting. “Not only do you not like puzzles, but the way you shamble about from place to place…” he paused, holding back a shudder that tickled his spine. “…the way your hands are always covered in dusty powder. It feels…”

He paused, swallowing hard as the kid tilted their head in response.   
“…like your life is going down a dangerous path.”

Papyrus’s eyes showed a deep concern. Not so much for his own safety at the moment, but for the future of the one before him. He quickly straightened up and cleared his throat to rid it of any uncertainty. 

“HOWEVER!” He began again. “I, Papyrus, see great potential within you! Everyone can be a great person if they try! And me, I hardly have to try at all!!! Nyeh heh heh heh heh heh!!” His bright smile returned, still as cheerful and bubbly as ever. It faded, however, when the child started walking again.

“HEY, quit moving! This is exactly what I am talking about!” Papyrus put his hands on his hipbones.“Human! I think you are in need of guidance! Someone needs to keep you on the straight and narrow!” He interrupted his boisterous speech with a calm, deep breath. “But worry not! I, Papyrus, will gladly be your friend and tutor! I will turn your life right around!!!”

The next thing he knew, the child was directly in front of him. He nearly took a step back, instinct yelling at him to run, but he controlled it and remained standing in place. That stoic look on their face, and the way they seemed to be holding something behind their back, made Papyrus’s very soul shiver. He was scared. The way this child was acting was far from friendly, and he clearly knew it, but he had to stay strong. He had to show them that there was good in the world, and in them. He refused to believe otherwise…  
No matter what, he believed they could be a good person. 

“I see you are approaching. Are you offering a hug of acceptance?” He felt his body quiver, the motion visibly faint but emotionally intense. “W-wowie!! My lessons are already working!” Despite his growing fear and the grin that he could see the child fighting to hide, he slowly reached out with his hands and gave a warm smile. “I, Papyrus, welcome you with open arms!”

The sound of a knife slashing through the air rang in Papyrus’s head, and although he didn’t close his eyes for a second, it took him an eternity to register what had just happened. 

It was almost as if his mind tricked him into feeling the pain across his neck, and he could just barely envision his own head falling into the snow. But he was still standing, his arms still open and inviting. But they soon fell to his sides as it finally started to sink in what had happened.

“…bro, i…” Sans slowly opened his eyes, his own arms outstretched as he stared up at his brother. He just appeared. His brother just appeared out of nowhere, and shielded him against the blow he himself was willing to risk taking. His eye was glowing a soft blue, and despite the red soaking into his clothes, he still held his smile. “i’m sorry about this. i shoulda warned you…” 

“SANS!” Papyrus gasped, instantly collapsing to his knees and wrapping his arms around the body. He looked ahead, seeing the child already on the ground with a bone impaled in their chest, having been killed by the element of surprise. He didn’t even bother taking more than a glance at the fresh corpse, though. Instead his attention was focused on his brother, who was lying limp against him. “Sans, please! Speak to me, come on! You… your not dying, right?! You’re tougher than that! SANS!!” 

“heh…” Sans looked up at his brother. “You and I both know I don’t have any health, pap… but i’m glad i didn’t waste it here.”

“SANS, PLEASE DON’T-“

“i’ll be okay, pap… just give it a while. i’ll be back before you… before you know it…” Sans closed his eyes and hung his head, stilling as the white dots in his eyes disappeared and his last breath left him. 

Papyrus watched in horror as the dust slipped through his gloved fingers.

 

* * *

Papyrus slowly let the palm of his hand fall from Sans’s cheekbone, watching him with gentle, sad eyesockets while his brother’s were welled with conflicted tears. Both of their eyes were glowing in synchronization, creating a soothing mixture of orange and blue that lit up the room with a soft radiance.

“i… i saved you?”

“Many times, yes.” Papyrus assured. “Sometimes you took the blow and died in my place. Sometimes you were able to arrive quick enough before anything even happened. Sometimes… the human got away,” he shuddered. “…but every single time, you saved me.

Sans put a hand to his head, his entire body trembling. He was too shocked to think of a proper response. All this time, he thought he had failed, but… was he really able to save his brother? He actually succeeded? But then... why did he never see those timelines? Why couldn't he recall those successes? He kept track of every dream he had involving resets, but why could he not recall the ones that ended well?

“i don't understand. how… how do you know? you’re not… you’re not supposed to—“

“Sans, these aren’t just nightmares, are they?” Papyrus’s frown was one that would make anyone tear up in sympathy, and Sans was no exception. “They… they actually happened? In… other timelines, you said?” His eyes became sadder and sadder the longer the silence between them grew. “And your nightmares… you’re not able to save me?” 

Sans looked away. “i’m not able to save _anyone_ , pap…” he paused. “…by the time i realize what’s going on, i just… i don’t have the energy to go after them until the fate of the world is at stake.” he lifted a hand to wipe the tears from his eyes. “it's horrible, i know, b-but... but how am i supposed to? they just take everything away from me, and they _smile_ while they do it! they laugh at my pain…. th-that fucking sadist.” he hissed, but it was interrupted by a choke of pain when his hand rubbed his face too roughly. The cracks were all over him, and he only just registered how much it hurt to move. "...h-how long have you been having these nightmares?"

"F-For a while, now... since before we left the Underground. Not too often, though..." Papyrus muttered, eyes staring off into space as he thought it over, but he was quick to snap out of it and lock his attention back onto his brother. "What about you? How long have... have these timelines been happening?"

Sans chuckled resentfully. "feels like it's been years... can't really calculate how long it's been if the days keep resetting."

Papyrus pondered. "Let me rephrase it then. How many times have you seen these timelines reset?"

"i lost count after some hundred..." Sans frowned. "i documented everything while we were in snowdin... probably been at least a couple thousand resets."

“Oh, Sans…” Papyrus’s frown quivered, trying to hold back from bursting into tears himself. He was always the crybaby of the two, and Sans had to be the big boy and offer his shoulder to cry on. But if his brother was this much of a wreck… then he had to take the role of comfort. He squeezed him into a soft hug, careful not to hurt him, and he let out a shaky sigh as he enveloped the small skeleton in a warm, orange light. He hoped the nurturing warmth would soothe him. “It’s okay… this is it. It’s all over, okay? I… I can’t wrap my head around the thought of all these timelines, but… I _do_ know that we’re here now, and nothing bad’s going to happen anymore, okay?” 

Sans nuzzled his face into his younger brother’s shoulder, practically biting into the fabric of his shirt in order to muffle his cries. He felt like utter shit right now, but despite it, he still smiled through his sobs. Papyrus had that nurturing aura about him that would make even the saddest person smile. He got by on enthusiasm and optimism alone, and he loved just about everyone and was more than willing to offer his hand for literally anyone to take it. Naivety, maybe, but it wasn't like most people assumed. Papyrus knew full and well how evil some people could be, but he still saw a glimmer of a good person inside everyone. He loved absolutely everything in the world despite knowing just how cruel it could be, and it was why Sans idolized him. It was why he risked his life for him...  
_It was why he died for him._

       But now... now it was the other way around. Here he was, big brother Sans, the same guy who would tell his little brother bedtime stories and annoy him constantly with stupid puns all the while looking out for him... here he was, crying on his baby brother's shoulder.

       No... no, this wasn't right. He hated feeling this helpless. He hated having his brother needing to look out for him like this.  _He_ should be the one protecting  _Papyrus_ , not the other way around. He could take care of himself! He's done so for this long... for as long as he could remember. So why was he falling apart now? He still didn't get it! He's had these nightmares for as long as he could remember. He's walked the same path, stepped in the same footsteps, thousands of times... and now he was free. They were all free, so why did he feel more trapped than ever? Why was he still stuck in this abyss? Why was he still trapped behind this stupid barrier?!  
_Why couldn't he move on from this?!_

Sans didn’t even realize how much he was starting to tremble again until he noticed Papyrus was speaking to him. He was holding him. No, he was _shaking_ him. He blinked several times, coming out of his daze only to adjust to the yelling of his name. He slowly pulled away from the now tear-stained sleeve of Papyrus’s shirt. “huh?”

"Oh thank God!" Papyrus gasped out, his orange eyes panicked. "You suddenly stopped moving. You weren't breathing, you weren't answering me, a-and your soul was... i-it's so..." he shook his head, his jaw clenched so tightly to avoid sobbing. His voice was strained as a result. "S-Sans, you're really scaring me... your soul is so strained and twisted... it looks like it's about to snap in half. A-and just look at yourself! You're so broken, Sans, and you've been hiding it from all of us for so long. You've been dealing with this all by yourself, and it... it's frightening me, Sans." 

The broken monster put a hand to his tense chest in response, then looked down at himself as if for the first time. The number of cracks along every bone in his body were more than worrisome. A human wouldn't be able to move a single muscle if their bones were this fractured. His arms and torso alone looked like a single flick would break him into a million pieces. He didn't even want to imagine what the rest of him looked like. 

"...h-huh." Sans's voice was barely a whisper right now. Although he was surprised at his current state, his tone was numb. "that _does_ look like a problem. i can see why you don't find this humeru—"

       “Don't you **dare** even try to joke your way out of this, Sans!" Papyrus scolded. "Of all times, n-now is not the time to be... to be making a pun!" He couldn't help crying now. Not just at the state his brother was in, but the fact he was still trying to dismiss it all. At this rate, he'd end up destroying himself.

"P-please don't make my nightmares true, Sans..."

       He didn't expect his brother to flinch at those words, but Sans couldn't suppress his reaction. It hurt to even think about that...  
Those words struck him like a bullet laced with guilt.

           "...papyrus."

       Papyrus quickly wiped away his tears, trying to resume the role of Sans's supporter. "Please, Sans... I-I just want you to talk about this with someone. I can't stand to see you like this! J-just... let someone help you." he paused. "Even if it’s not with me! You know you could still talk to someone great! Like Toriel, or Frisk, or Undyne!”

Sans laughed a bit at the cheerful wording, never getting enough of his brother’s confident, self-loving schtick. It faded, however, when the thoughts clicked together in his head.

“wait…” he pulled away fully, looking up at his brother properly. “toriel… undyne…” the blue flame in his eye slowly shrank until it eventually died out, leaving only black voids of weariness. “the others… do… do they have these nightmares too?”

He took Papyrus’s silence as an answer he did not want to hear. 

“no… no no no, they can’t…”

“Sans? Sans, what is it? P-please, calm down.“ Papyrus warned, eyes growing wide with worry. "Y-your soul is so hurt... and you have so little health as it is. I don't want—"

“call them.”

Papyrus blinked in surprise, the orange light in his eye disappearing. “Right now, Sans? In the middle of the night... a-are you sure—“

Sans didn’t give him a chance to finish. “Call them.” 

After a moment of hesitance, Papyrus nodded and stepped up from the side of the bed, grabbing his cell phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for not getting to this as soon as I planned! Classes have been draining me with final projects and tests and I had to prioritize, but I'm glad I was able to finish this chapter :3 Can't get enough brotherly love.


	11. Raw Emotion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are going to be okay... right?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please note, I did not proofread this chapter so things may seem rather out of place or jumbled up. I'm going through a lot right now and, although I do want to end this properly, you may not get a closing chapter for a little while. Just please understand, and thank you for being a part of this and motivating me to write this.

       Sans was visibly uneasy while sitting against the couch. It wasn’t unusual to see him leaning against the cushions, but right now it seemed like he was trying to disappear within them. He didn’t like this. He didn’t like this whole situation. Looking at everyone who was talking to him, expressing their deepest concern, filled him with dread. Even Asgore was here, having dropped everything work-wise once Toriel notified him about what all was happening. 

       Being surrounded by all his friends like this should have been comforting, but it really just made him anxious. He felt this pit in his chest that was gradually blooming, making it uncomfortable to breathe or even think. It was near nauseating. He hated this feeling, and he knew he was doing the right thing by talking to everyone about this, but… something felt so off.

           “Sans?”

       He could hear his brother’s voice among the others, but it didn’t send him out of his thoughts. He could only focus on this feeling in his soul. It was so much pressure. It was getting hard to breathe. His head hurt like utter hell. He couldn’t focus.

           “Sans, can you hear me? Come on, come back to us.” 

       He was toning out the conversation again. This wasn’t the first time it happened during this night alone. He was too far gone in his mind to keep his attention on anything for very long. The first couple times, it freaked Papyrus out, and it would take Sans a few seconds to hear anything except for that panicked yelling. But now, his brother’s calm tone seemed oddly unnerving. 

           “Brother?”

       Sans’s body jerked slightly, being brought back to reality. He quickly looked up at the source of the only voice speaking now, everyone else’s having quieted down. Papyrus gently removed his hand from his brother’s shoulder, smiling in relief.

       “You were drifting again, Sans. Are you sure you don’t want to go to bed and handle this tomorrow?”

       It took Sans a moment to register the question, but he shook his head as his mind connected the words to meaning. “n… no. No. i’m alright, i—“

       “You’re clearly not.” Papyrus would have actually laughed if his brother’s response was intended as a joke. “But if you truly want to continue this… try to hold your attention just a little longer, alright?”

       A familiar voice broke the conversation. “Papyrus, there’s no need to push him. It _is_ the middle of the night, after all. We are all pretty tired.” Toriel smiled reassuringly, glancing over at Asgore who was fiddling with his fingers while on the recliner. 

       “Feel free to take your time, Sans. You know we are here for you.” He muttered.

       “Even though it’s too early in the morning to be alive right now.” Undyne rolled her eyes, her elbow against the arm of the couch with her head resting in her hand. “But seriously! You better spit out what’s wrong with you. If whatever you’re dealing with is so bad that Papyrus called us so suddenly, then it’s serious.”

       Alphys grabbed Undyne’s free hand and squeezed it, trying to comfort her. “B-but, uh… th-there really is no rush if it makes you feel uncomfortable.” she stammered. “It’s j-just that… it would really help if you—“ 

       “I get it!” Sans cut off, his hands raised in exasperation. Everyone was silenced, and the small skeleton slowly pressed his fingers to his skull, rubbing his temples as he closed his eyes to focus on organizing his thoughts. “i just… just give me a second. it’s not like this is an easy thing to start out with.” he paused when he felt a hand on his leg, and he was about to look up at Papyrus and reassure him vainly that it was alright, but he was met with Frisk’s face instead. Their face was flushed and their eyes were blotchy, red and wet from emitting so many tears before. He didn’t even notice that they had been crying until now.

       “aw, kid…” Sans took in a deep breath, and just like that, his mind was straight. All of his thoughts and senses were laid out before him, like each worry and concern was a filing cabinet and every detail was neatly placed right where it belonged. He knew this organization was going to explode into chaos any moment, though, so he took advantage of it.

       “Alphys, let me ask you something.” Sans decided to begin with her. “You know about the whole multiverse theory, correct?” 

       “Wh-why… of course!” The reptilian girl squeaked. “It’s quite a fascinating theory. That our universe isn’t the only one that exists, but rather runs parallel to other universes… and that with every decision that someone makes branches into different timelines. If that theory’s true, then it shows that the universe is virtually infinite in possibilities, and… it, um…” she trailed off when she noticed the confused looks she was getting from everyone except Sans. “A-ah… basically, it’s a theory that any decision you make creates an alternate timeline.”

       “Right,” Sans nodded. “But… at this point, I don’t think it’s just a theory.” he sat up in his seat, glancing down at Frisk observantly. “Now, to get to the point… I think that Frisk’s determination… or well, determination in general, is a key factor that causes these timelines to exist and overlap each other.

       Frisk glanced away as everyone else leaned in attentively at Sans’s hypothesis, Alphys especially. 

       “I’m afraid I don’t understand…” Toriel paused. “Alternate… timelines?”

       Asgore hung his head a little, taking in a deep breath. “This doesn’t surprise me.” he let it out as a deep sigh. “I never really knew how to describe it, but you explained it perfectly. That’s to be expected from two of the Underground’s best scientists.”

       “Wait, wait, back up…” Undyne raised her hands up, completely lost by all of this. “Asgore, how do _you_ know about this? I could see Sans and Alphys, but you…?”

       Asgore chuckled, his usually intimidating, deep voice sounding soft and sad. “It’s… not very clear to me either. But the first time Frisk fought me… I, well… I killed them.” He shrank at Toriel’s glare, but he straightened before giving her the chance to yell at him. “But the strange thing was that they came back. As if everything just… reset.”

       Sans grit his teeth at that very word. “ _Exactly_. that’s _exactly_ what happened. It reset.” He glanced down at Frisk, who removed their hand from his leg and rushed to Toriel, huddling in her lap. Sans sighed in response. “i think that’s a power that someone with incredible determination can have. the power to reset, to go back… it’s… terrifying…” his sentence trailed as if he was going to say more, but the glazed look in his eyes started to show and his smile faded. He was drifting out again.

       “Sans?” Papyrus brought him back yet again, and Sans shook his head as he readjusted himself. 

       “right, right. sorry.” he cleared his throat. He noticed his brother was oddly the most quiet out of everyone right now. He would usually be the one to interrupt every other sentence, but right now, he was just… there. He was taking in everything without a word. Sans didn’t know how to feel about that. 

       “ah, anyways… the reason i called all of you here isn’t because of that little revelation. it’s… it’s about the nightmares.” he didn’t like the reaction he got from everyone there. He expected at much, but he had a glimmer of hope that no one would understand what he was referring to. However, everyone had turned to each other with worried glances, as if silently confirming to one another that they knew exactly what he was talking about. “so it’s true?”

       “Sans, are you…” Toriel swallowed the lump in her throat. “…are you by any chance talking about nightmares where people die?” 

       Sans’s fears were confirmed. Even though Papyrus had told him, he was desperately hoping that he was wrong. But it was all true. They all knew, at least to some extent. “N-no… you’ve gotta be kidding me.” he smiled, crookedly. It was broken. His shields were down. “you all… you _all_ have those nightmares? b-but… but why?” The lights in his eyes disappeared, and he could feel the pressure of this tense atmosphere. 

       “Sans, please…” Papyrus reached his hand out. “Please calm down.”

       Sans smacked it away without hesitation. “Tell me.” He demanded. “Why? Why do you all have these nightmares? I’m the only one that’s supposed to remember!”

       “SANS!” Papyrus stood to his feet. “Give us a chance to explain instead of lashing out like this! We want to help you, but we can’t unless you give us a chance to!”

       Sans grit his teeth, a cyan light appearing in his left socket. “No, you know what? This is all I need to hear,” he turned away from them. “You can’t help me. _None_ of you can!! Whether you know about these nightmares or not, it doesn’t matter! Just—“ he cut off with a gasp when he suddenly felt he couldn’t move. 

       “SANS.” Papyrus’s eye was aflame, a bright orange lighting the area. “I will hold you in place while they speak if I have to. I don’t know how long you’ve been running away from this… to be honest, I don’t think I _want_ to know.” He felt a twinge of guilt as Sans struggled under the magical bond. “But you can’t keep doing this! Just let us be here for you…” he frowned. “Your soul is cracked, Sans. You need to take it easy or else you’re going to die. Even me holding you here is a big risk itself… so please listen. For me…” That seemed to get his brother to stop his struggling, at least to an extent. 

       Sans glared at his brother but he didn’t try fighting back. He honestly didn’t think he had the willpower to, anyways. He didn’t speak for a minute, but when he sensed that no one else was going to break the tense silence, he was willing to step up. That is, until Alphys interrupted.

       “W-well… i-if you want to know, Sans, there _is_ a connection between all of our dreams… these timelines we see… that we all noticed.” She twiddled with her thumbs, unsure of how to say it. A quick nudge from Undyne made her spit it out. “Th-they all involve you.”

       Sans froze in place, and Papyrus took that as an opportunity to gently set him back down. “…what?”

       “Y-yeah, they…” Alphys cleared her throat. “W-we all talked about it, and… although we don’t have these nightmares often, they all have a connection. With… with every dream that we had, of… of the human… of people dying…” she looked down at her lap. “You… you were there to save us. Or at least, attempt to.” 

       The pinpricks of light in Sans’s eye sockets dilated. The expression on his face was indescribable. “elaborate.” He looked between everyone’s faces. “what happens in these nightmares?”

       Everyone shared glances at each other, all except Frisk, who was still curled up in Toriel’s lap. Another moment of silence filled the room, but Sans wasn’t having it this time. “Tell me!”

       Toriel bit down on her lower lip, but eventually, she stepped up to speak first. “There are times, where… i-in my dreams, the child…” She felt Frisks’s muscles stiffen when she started, but she gently rubbed their back to reassure them. “Frisk, dear, I know it is not you in those dreams… we all do…” she shook her head. “Anyways… in these dreams, the child faces me with dust on their hands, and they look at me as if they’ve seen a ghost…” she couldn’t help but shudder. “How they held the knife and…” She quickly shook her head to rid herself of that fear. “I closed my eyes and readied myself for the strike, but… when I opened them again, you were there. You appeared out of nowhere… I have no idea how. The doors of the ruins were locked from the outside.” She frowned. “But you took the blow for me… Sometimes, the child would run off after that. Other times… my anger got to me, despite it all, and…” she looked away, holding Frisk close to her and shushing them when they started to weep. “But you were there. I recognized your voice instantly, and… you told me you were trying to keep our promise.” 

       Undyne let out a sigh as she leaned back against the couch. “Yeah. Same sort of thing happens in my dreams, too.” Sans’s attention went towards her when she took hold of the conversation. “That monster kid always went after the human. Nothing I said convinced them to go home, and… every time, I saw that weapon being pulled out, and no matter how fast I ran, I knew I couldn’t save the kid in time.” She huffed. “But every time, the kid was saved. Not by me, but by you, Sans. You would run in and grab them and then just disappear, or you would run and act as the shield, taking the hit like it was nothing and holding on until I got there… it was truly inspiring, to be honest. Seeing your lazy ass doing something productive and saving a life.” she laughed to try and lighten the mood, but to little avail. 

       “Y-yeah.” Alphys chimed in, sitting up in her seat next to Undyne. “Usually, by the time the human faced Undyne, I would be evacuating all the monsters somewhere safe… but somehow, the human would find us. They would threaten everyone as they all huddled together for safety, and judging by how much dust covered them, I don’t think it was an empty threat.” She shivered at the image that came to her mind. “But… you were there. You helped me with the evacuation, and you were always the first one to step up and protect us all. There…” she frowned. “There were some dreams where you sacrificed your life for us, and… I would wake up by the time I collected your dust. But every single time, you won. You beat the human and saved us, Sans!”

       Sans felt tears welling in his sockets as he heard each story, and he wasn’t the only one to turn to Asgore when it seemed it was his turn to speak. He shuffled in his seat.

       “To be honest, I… I have never really experienced dreams like that. Mine are… a bit different.” He stroked his beard. “Sans would never intervene in the child’s fights with me… mostly because he would encounter them long before they could even get to me.” he explained. “It is almost like an out-of-body experience… I would watch Sans fighting the human in the corridor, with power I had never deemed him to have. And he would win far more times than he would lose… no matter how much I screamed or tried to intervene, I wasn’t heard. I wasn't seen. I couldn’t do anything but watch such a heartbreaking fight…” he lifted his head. “Sans… in all of these nightmares that we have, you are the one to save us. You are the one to use all that is in your power to stop that evil human and give us hope.”

 

       They all paused and turned to Sans for his reaction, but he was more in shock than anything. His expression was conflicted, with soft, cyan streaming down his face. He didn’t know how to feel. He didn’t know what to say. 

 _Crack_. 

       “Sans…” Papyrus’s eyes widened a little when he didn’t get an immediate response. “Sans, are you okay?”

       “…no.” Sans spoke after what felt like an eternity. “no, i’m not. we all know i’m not okay…” he brought a hand to his left eye, body trembling. 

       Toriel put a hand to her mouth. “Oh, Sans… dear, please. We know this is a rather morbid discussion, but just look on the bright si—“

       Sans cut her off. “why are you all so lucky?” he choked out. “why do you guys have dreams with happy, hopeful endings? while mine are so… s-so awful?” the sound of gritting teeth emitted from him. “every single nightmare… every single timeline that i remember… there’s nothing. that human… n-no, that _freak_ took everything away from me.” 

       It took Papyrus every ounce of energy to resist tackling his brother into a hug when he started to hear the sobbing. “can you even begin to comprehend… h-how many times i’ve seen you all die?!” he snapped. “it wouldn’t be so traumatizing if i was like you guys. if i could just dismiss it all as a bad dream, but it’s not! this all happened!! you say there’s been times where i’ve saved you, but there’s also been times where i’ve given up! H-how am i supposed to save you when the timeline just resets anyways?! What’s the point in saving you if my attempts are just going to be wiped away! **WHAT’S THE POINT?!** ” 

_Crack._

       “S-Sans.” Papyrus gasped, unable to restrain himself any longer. He quickly dropped to his knees and wrapped his arms around his brother. “P-Please, calm down. Everything’s okay… we’re all here now, that’s what matters. So please, calm down.” he shook. “Y-your soul, Sans…”

       “Y-you’re here now, but… b-but for how long?” He cried, his voice barely able to hold any anger in it anymore. He sounded so defeated. So exhausted. “How long until the kid gets bored and decides to reset?” He glanced up when he saw Frisk jumping out of Toriel’s lap to come over and reassure him. “F-Frisk… how can I trust you?” his breathing was erratic. He was sobbing at every other word. “H-how can I trust you not to reset? How c-can I…” He clutched onto Papyrus like a lifeline, squeezing his eyes shut to avoid Frisk’s gaze. 

_Crack._

       His walls were completely broken. They were crumbling faster than he could rebuild them.

_Crack._

       “SANS, NO!!” Papyrus cried, the look on his face one of pure fear and desperation. “YOUR SOUL, SANS! IT’S CRUMBLING, IT’S… PLEASE, DON’T-“

       “Papyrus.” Sans whispered, halting his brother’s shout. He lifted his head and looked up at the taller skeleton. “I’m not going anywhere… I promise. Not until…” he paused. “…not until I know this is really it.” He didn’t bother looking back at everyone else just yet. He could hear Alphys weeping into Undyne’s shirt and Toriel straining to contain her own sobs. He didn’t want this. This wasn’t the happy ending he had once given up on. “… why didn’t you all tell me about this?” he finally asked. "if you all knew i was the connection between these nightmares, why did no one bring it up?"

       A broken laugh escaped Toriel. “Probably for the same reason you didn’t tell us about what all you’ve been dealing with…” she rubbed her eyes. “We didn’t want to burden you… we knew you had a connection, somehow, but… how could we have brought it up?” she paused, and her next question made Sans grit his teeth. "You could not tell us about your nightmares for that very reason, am I wrong?"

       Alphys sat up straight once more after Undyne wiped her tears away. “I-I, um... I was actually the most persistent one on that matter… I really wanted to ask you about all of this, but… Toriel convinced me otherwise. We knew you were going through a lot, and we didn’t want to put any more weight on you.

       “…wait.” Sans lifted his head, finally risking a glance at the distressed expressions everyone wore before he pulled away from Papyrus to gaze at him. “…’going through a lot’ … you mean you knew?”

       “Sans, of course I knew.” Papyrus sniffled. “This is not the skeleton you used to be… sure, you were always lazy and made jokes at every chance you got. That’s always been you.” he rolled his eyes a bit, but it was more of a playful gesture than an annoyed one. “But… for so long, there’s always been something off about you. I could never place my finger on it, but I knew it wasn’t you. There was something always hovering over you, but you would never tell me… maybe you didn’t want to burden me or you honestly didn’t know yourself, but I know that the Sans I grew up with was so laidback and loving, and so… carefree.”

       Sans couldn’t help but smile at the words, even if halfheartedly. He slowly shook his head. “i… i think you’re mixed up, bro… carefree? i may have acted like it, but i don’t remember actually feeling that way…” 

       “Oh, Sans.” Papyrus had to laugh in order to keep from bursting into another fit of tears, and he hugged his brother to him once more. “Just know that things are going to be okay… w-we understand if you’ve given up before, but things are different now! Those days are over. We’re all here, alive and well, and you don’t have to worry about any more resets! Right, Frisk?”

       The child nodded quicker than Sans would have thought humanly possible, but he couldn’t help but break down into a mixture of sobbing and laughing as everyone soon joined in on the hug. He just couldn’t believe it. Even if he still felt horrible now… even if the cracks on his body kept appearing, growing one by one, it wasn’t the end. Things were actually looking up, despite the room being filled with nothing but the sounds of tears. The amount of relief that washed over Sans as everything finally sank in… the amount of pure, raw emotion that coursed through him all at once, it… it was unbearable, but it was going to be okay.

       Things were going to be okay.

_Crack._

       Suddenly, Sans’s eye sockets became dark once more. The light diminished in an instant, and it took Papyrus a minute to realize he wasn’t breathing. _He wasn’t moving._

       “S-Sans?” Papyrus pulled away, quickly observing his brother as everyone else stepped back to give them space. “Sans, what’s wrong, what…” his voice stopped, just like that, trying to find the condition his brother’s soul was in, only to find there was no longer one. “…Sans?” 

       Everyone gasped simultaneously as the bones started to crack and crumble. Whatever thread of strength that was holding the broken pieces finally came undone, and bit by bit the fragments fell to the floor in a growing pile of dust. 

       “SANS, NO! WHAT HAPPENED?!” Toriel cried as she rushed over, vainly using as much magic as she could to heal the cracks of the body in desperation. 

       Asgore picked up Frisk, despite their screaming and clawing at his hands, and he hugged the crying child close to him, shielding their eyes away from the dreadful scene while he watched, wide-eyed and mouth agape.

       “O-Oh my god, Sans!” Alphys cried, holding onto Undyne as her body shook with fright. “Wh-what happened! His soul just broke, just like that?! B-but how… how…” she buried her face into the fabric of Undyne’s tanktop while the blue woman stared in complete shock. 

       “…S-Sans.” Papyrus mouthed silently, screaming at himself in his head to look away, or to help Toriel. To do anything but just watch as his brother disintegrated. But he couldn’t move. 

       All they could do was watch in horror as Sans’s body fell to dust in front of them.

 


	12. Reassurance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, a reset is exactly what you need.

           “Sans.”

       Nothing.

           “Sans.”

       He stirred.

           “Sans.”

       The skeleton slowly opened his eyes, blinking several times to adjust his vision. He sat up and looked around, but only saw black. Darkness. He couldn’t even see the ground he was sitting on. 

           “Ah, you’re awake. Good.”

       Sans looked ahead to see who was in front of him, and he didn’t look surprised to find that disfigured being. 

       “How are you feeling?” Gaster smiled softly, one hand extended out to pull Sans up to his feet while his free one signed the words.

       It took Sans a minute to answer, but when he did there was no tone in his voice. “i dunno.”

       “That is to be expected from someone who just died.” Gaster signed, turning and starting to walk. There was no path that Sans could see him walking down, but he decided to follow anyways.

       “yeah, about that… what exactly happened?”

       Gaster sighed and brought his hands up once more. “Your emotions got the better of you. Your fear of resets and uncertainty damaged your soul until it was merely hanging on by a thread. Once you finally realized things were going to be okay, the pressure of all those emotions flowing through you was too much for your soul to handle, and it just… broke.”

       Sans slowly put a hand to his chest, as if trying to find where said soul was, but he felt nothing. He sensed no magic. There wasn’t even any light in his sockets. His neutral smile didn’t falter, though. He just felt numb.

       “To be fair, your soul has been at war with your mind for quite some time, now. It only intensified after you all left the Underground.” Gaster looked behind him and down at Sans, stopping him from walking any further. “Ever since the first reset, you grew suspicious. You tried to find a way to stop everything, to return to your normal life. Some timelines, you fought with all your might until your dying breath. Other times… you gave up entirely, but as soon as the next reset happened and you saw everyone again, you instantly regretted it and pulled yourself back up.” 

       Sans’s expression didn’t change. “tell me something i don’t know, doc.”

       Gaster couldn’t help but laugh a little. He put a hand on Sans’s shoulder. “Sit with me.”

       “didn’t we just start walking?”

       “Just… sit with me, Sans. This is important.”

       As Gaster’s body slowly sank into the ground, Sans followed suit. His legs stretched out and he leaned back, staying up with the support of his arms. “okay, what is it?”

       “Look up.”

       “up? why do you want me to looo….” Sans’s words trailed off as he stared up at what he thought was just another wall of darkness, but he could see it. It was just a little dot of light, but it was easy to spot in contrast to the void around them. As soon as he noticed it, another dot lit up. And another. Pretty soon, it exploded, and tens, hundreds… possibly thousands of little lights ignited among the darkness above them. They almost looked like the crystals in Waterfall, but there was something different about them. 

       “Did you never bother to look at the stars, Sans?” His voice echoed softly through his signing. 

       “stars?” Sans repeated the word, admiring the way it sounded. “…no. I mean, we did once before, but…” 

       “But you never really took the time to _look_ at them, did you?”

       Sans looked back at Gaster, and the smile on the man’s face was wider than ever.

       “There he is.” Gaster’s hands signed a little more clumsily. His voice was a chime. “There’s the boy I know and love… tell me. How are you feeling now, Sans?”

       Sans tilted his head a bit, but he put a hand to his head and noticed what Gaster was talking about. There wasn’t a single crack along his skull, or anywhere on his body for that matter. The pinpricks of light in his eyes had returned, and they were large and full of wonder. And his mouth… while it was normal for him to have a smile on his face, it was easy to tell what kind of smile it was. It was sometimes neutral, and sometimes it was a fake smile that he used to mask himself. But this one… this grin he had on his face that stretched wide, from ‘ear-to-ear’ if you will… it was genuine. One-hundred percent genuine and full of joy. He was… he was happy. No, more than that. He was elated. Stargazing was such a simple activity for most people, but for him… at least right now, it was a revelation. It took him this long, but it made him realize that a sight like this was what Frisk wanted everyone to see all along. It was what brought everyone else at peace… it was what made him realize that this was really it. It was really the end. 

       “i feel… good.”

       “I’m so glad to hear that.” Gaster sighed in relief, reaching a hand up to rub the top of Sans’s skull. It first started off as a nurturing gesture, but after a few seconds, Sans felt a laugh escaped him when it ended up turning into a noogie. 

       “hey, hey! what are you doing? this isn’t funny, gas!” Sans fought off the hand and laid back against the ground, letting the giggles flood out of him. “you’re so mean.”

       The two laid there under the stars as a near-dead silence filled the area. The only sounds that came to them were the faint glimmers of life that the lights above them sang. After a few minutes of gazing, though, Sans spoke up again.

       “i’m sorry.” he whispered, smile fading. “i broke our promise… you told me to keep going and keep living, and… i couldn’t do it.”

       “Sans.” Gaster slowly sat up, his voice calm and patient.

       “i tried, gaster.” Sans muttered, voice straining all of a sudden. “i tried so hard to fight it… i know you wanted me to tell everyone the moment i got back, but i just couldn’t. how could i tell them anything? how could i burden them like that?”

       “Sans.”

       The skeleton started to sob. “i-i wanted to fix everything, gaster… i wanted t-to be happy, and i wanted everyone else to be happy, b-but i just-“

       “Sans.” Gaster pulled the body to him, shushing his sobs as he hugged him tightly. “It’s okay, Sans. I’m not mad.” he reassured. “I put too much on you through that… I don’t care if you didn’t… well, _live up_ to what you promised me.”

       “dings…” Sans snorted between sobs. 

       “All I wanted you to do was try. I’ve seen too many timelines where I’ve seen you give up, and it broke my heart every single time… I didn’t want to see you give up in the end. I wanted to see you fight, and you did just that. You fought until the very end, even if you think you lost.”

       Tears soaked into Gaster’s body as Sans cried, his face nuzzled against the man as he collapsed against the hug. “You’ve made me very proud, Sans. You’ve made everyone very proud by finally accepting their help. Even if you think you’ve lost, you have not… you have the help of your friends, no matter where you go or how tough life may seem for you. You have a family to help you.”

       Sans pulled away in order to look up at the man’s face properly. 

       “Any moment now, Frisk will go back.” Gaster warned. “They will go back to when you were still alive. You will still be on the surface, though. This isn’t a true reset.” he paused for a brief moment, as if to ponder that himself, but continued without having a precise answer. “The point is, they will have to go against your wishes, but they are only doing this to save a friend. Not to spite you, or to make you angry… but to save you. Do you understand, Sans?”

       The small skeleton rubbed at his face to rid it of tears with an erratic nod.

       “Sans, calm down.”

       “i-i am, i am calm.” Sans laughed a little in frustration.

       “Sans.” Gaster signed, bringing himself down to press his forehead against his student’s like before. “It’s going to be okay. You know this. You have so many friends that would be more than happy to help you… and whether you can see me or not, I am always with you.” he smiled. “You always have help available to you. I know you are scared. You are scared about your future and you feel alone, but you’re even more scared about what will happen to your friends if you tell them. And I can’t guarantee that those nightmares of yours are going to go away so soon…” He closed his eyes. “But now you have the knowledge that your friends know more than you previously thought. So please, use that to your advantage. It will not be easy… but it will get better. I promise you." He gave the small body one more reassuring squeeze. "Give yourself your own advice, Sans... 'don't give up wherever you are, ok?'"

       Sans took in a deep breath at those words, finally pulling away to stand on his own.

       “Are you ready?” 

       Sans closed his eyes, suddenly feeling at ease through the presence of his guardian. “no.” he grinned a little. “but i… i’ll live.” he nodded, letting the flash of light engulf him. “ ** _i promise._** ”

And he wouldn't break it this time.

 

* * *

 

       It took Sans a moment to adjust to everything now, but after opening his eyes once more, his mind registered that he was in his room. His room, in his house on the surface. He slowly sat up to look around, but he jumped at the loud crash he heard around him. He shook at the rumbling vibrations that crept through him, and he slowly put a hand to his eye, feeling the warmth of a flame that quickly died out the moment he awoke. By the time he took note of everything in his room on the floor in a wreck, he heard the door slam open and he saw his brother rushing to his bed. 

       “SANS!! Oh, thank goodness you are alright! What happened?! Why is your room even messier than usual?!”

       Sans just stared at Papyrus for a long moment, as if unable to understand the question. He couldn’t even get a word out. “p…” The lights in his eyes quivered as he tried to even say his brother’s name, but he couldn’t get it out. He was just in shock… this was… this was before everything went to shit. Before all of this pain and pressure actually got to him.

               _Kid… you couldn’t have picked a better time to go back to._

       “Sans. Why are you holding your hand over your face? Are you hurt?!” 

       Papyrus instantly went to reach out and remove Sans’s hand, and this time his brother didn’t jerk back. He let his hand fall to his side, and Papyrus observed the eye socket that was now becoming wet with tears. 

       “SANS?! Why are you crying? What happened?!” 

       “n… n-nothing, bro.” Sans muttered, pausing a moment before a small chuckle escaped him. “…w-well, actually, everything happened…” It was like a ragged breath at first, but then another one followed suit, and another. Pretty soon, he was in a fit of giggles.

       Papyrus was dumbfounded. “S-Sans?” Papyrus cocked his head to the side, then his eyes narrowed. “Sans, if this is some sort of prank, I swear to—“

       “no, no no. papyrus, that’s not it.” Sans quickly made the attempt to control his laughter, and he reached out and grabbed the taller skeleton’s hand. “no, i… i’m just so happy right now.”

       “Happy?” Papyrus was completely lost. “I don’t understand. Why? Of course I am happy that you’re happy, but that’s no excuse to destroy your room!”

       Sans rubbed at his eyes. “no, no, papyrus, i just…” he took a moment to breath deeply and calm himself down. “c’mere.” he outstretched his arms, and although Papyrus had many questions, he instantly took the offer and brought his brother into a hug. They didn't speak for a couple minutes, simply just savoring the feeling of holding each other so close. 

       “Brother… what happened?”

       “i… i gotta talk to you, papyrus.” Sans whispered, resting his head on the fabric of his brother’s shirt. “about a… a _skele_ -ton of stuff.”

       “That’s your oldest joke yet, you lazybones!” Papyrus rolled his eyes, but paused when he heard the sound of odd music interrupting the moment between them. “Sans, your phone.”

       Sans pulled away from the hug and reached over to grab his phone off the end-table. He recognized the number instantly. “h-hey, tori. what’s up?”

       “Oh, Sans.” Toriel’s voice chimed through the speaker. “I apologize for calling you so late into the night, but Frisk just came into my room and insisted I call you.” 

       “did they, now?” Sans smirked at that, and he closed his eyes and leaned against Papyrus, relief washing over him at the confirmation of what had happened. He swore he heard the child's own sigh of relief over the line, as well. “well, tell the kid i said thanks. i really appreciate it… a-and, uh, tori?”

       “He says that he thanks you, my child." Sans could hear the woman's words, followed by the sound of a child sobbing. He smiled faintly at that, nuzzling closer to Papyrus as his younger brother wrapped his arms around him. 

       A little bit of ruffling followed, and then the voice was clear again. "I'm sorry, what is it, Sans?” The skeleton swore he could almost hear her smile. 

       “if it’s not too much trouble… can you and frisk come over here? i'll call asgore, and undyne and alphys... i, uh… i think it’s been a while since the lot of us went out stargazing.” 

       "Stargazing?"

       "uh, i mean... if that seems kinda boring, we can do something else too. i just thought... w-well, the sky's so big and there's so many stars." he paused a moment, a certain type of grin lighting on his face that Papyrus knew was up to no good. "in fact, you could say the amount of stars are...  _astronomical."_

       The sound of Toriel's dorky laugh never failed to light Sans’s face up, and it was even better when it was accompanied by Papyrus's cry of irritation. “No. It sounds lovely, Sans. I would not mind at all. I cannot say the same for the others, since it _is_ rather late in the night. But may I ask what the occasion is?”

       Sans looked up at Papyrus, whose smile lit up the whole room. “oh, just… just a reminder that things are going alright with everyone. i have a lot i wanna talk about, too.”

       “Alright, Sans, but… is something the matter?”

       “no… not anymore.” Sans chuckled, glancing out the window through his brother’s hug and seeing the dots of light that gave life to the sky. 

        ** _“things are gonna be alright.”_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so sorry these past two chapters have been lacking a bit. I've been going through some serious anxiety the past week and I need to get it settled, but I couldn't just let this story hang on such a dark note. I've been in a pretty dark place lately, but I don't want anyone to feel the same, so it didn't feel so bad writing this. It was kind of a reassurance for me, too. That things are going to get better... so, in Sans's words, I'll say this.
> 
> "if we're not giving up down here... don't give up wherever you are, ok?  
> who knows how long it will take... but we will get out of here."

**Author's Note:**

> Another Side Note: I was going through some major anxiety upon writing Chapters 11-12; 11 while I was near my worst point and 12 when I was feeling a little more hopeful. I had some panic attacks in between, but I won't go into detail about that. Point is, if those chapters seem a little rushed or not as flowing as the others, that's my reason. I've tried going back and fixing up some of the major errors, but I'm afraid to tamper with it since so many people already enjoyed it. But, uh... yeah, I'm feeling better and getting help so no need to worry about me :) I'm just glad what I made, and I was able to pull off the hopeful ending.
> 
> Anyways, I'm happy how this all turned out, and I'm ecstatic about how popular it's gotten. I never thought this fic would get over 10k hits, but... it really touches me that it did. It means I have a talent in what I like to do, and that I have something I can really pursue. I've read every single comment posted here, and I'm so glad to have entertained, moved, and even inspired people with this story, regardless of if the characters are truly mine or not. Thank you all so much for reading this. It really means a lot to me.


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